Hunting the Fairy Tale

Chapter 61 - Midnight is a Lonely Place

Hunter

It's closing in on midnight, but sleep doesn't want to come to me tonight. Last night, I fell asleep easily with Tan's peaceful breathing, acting like a lullaby. Listening to Rover snore is keeping me awake now.

No, that's not true; she only makes soft purring noises; it's not Rover keeping me from sleep; it is me. I'm lonely; I wasn't lonely when Tan was here. We didn't speak, and he always sleeps like the dead, but there was that whole peaceful breathing thing. I knew I wasn't alone. I was also seriously tired after not sleeping much on Monday night. That helped.

I'm not tired tonight; apparently, I'm not the only one. I can hear some sounds in the hallway; somebody went to the kitchen and is now creeping back down the hallway in the direction of the foyer. Is Dad grabbing a midnight snack?

Surely he's not trying to work after doing all that driving today? Then again, the guy loves his work, and when he gets into the zone, he'll work non-stop for days unless Ma or I drag him to the shower, feed him and put him to bed. If one of us doesn't do that, he'll dehydrate and eventually pass out.

It has happened once or twice through the years when we weren't around to keep an eye on him.

I know what's keeping me awake tonight, and it's not just loneliness. I wonder if Willow is also awake. I slide off my bed and walk through the bathroom to her bedroom in darkness.

"Missy," I whisper at her door, which is mean since I don't know whether Willow is a light sleeper or not. She was medicated on Monday when I held her all night while she slept without moving a muscle. Just like Tanner. Except that she'd been holding onto me. Tan usually minds his own business on his side of the bed. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," she answers straight away, and I'm relieved. She wouldn't have responded that quickly and clearly if she weren't awake.

"Can I come in for a second?"

"Of course."

Actually, I'm already in, and I'm glad the room is dark, the mural starting to lose its glow, bathing the room in a shadowy greenish gloom. I sit on the edge of her bed, and now that I'm close enough, I can see her sitting up, scooting to prop her back against the headboard.

"I just want to apologise for the incredibly stupid things I said in the car today." I was going to do this earlier, but we were studying the map while I tried to find the right moment and the right words. Then our parents returned, and the perfect chances came and went.

"I don't want it to fester between us again until we can barely look at each other. I was being a moron and a jerk, and I'm really sorry. Of course, I know you're not on some mission to kiss all the boys in Briar Cove. I don't even know why I said dumb shit like that... or why I said those things about Tanner."

Of course, I know why I said it. I was choking on jealousy, that's why.

"I'm really sorry."

Willow is not saying anything, and I cannot see her face clearly enough to tell whether my apology is helping or making things worse. Her fingers slowly work at the edge of her duvet, and she seems to be looking at me.

Why is she not saying anything? A nice tongue-lashing would be really great right now and make me feel a lot better. Is she really that mad?

"I know the kiss was just one of those all-in-the-moment things. The kind of thing that happens when a fireman drags you out of a fire or your favourite rugby team wins the World Cup. I was having cramps; you were being compassionate, and well, stuff happened..."

Still no reaction.

She probably thinks I'm full of shit. I am! I didn't kiss her because I had stomach cramps and was grateful that she gave me water to swallow the antacid. I kissed her because I wanted to. I want to now, and I'll want to tomorrow. I don't even try to understand why anymore. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm a dude and have a pulse.