Trust- a criminal minds fanfic

Chapter 47- Missing her too much

Emily's POV
You hear Hotch calling your name. You nervously walk up to his office. When you get there, you see JJ sitting across from Hotch. Oh shit somethings up. "Is everything okay?" you ask as you sit in the chair next to JJ. They both glance at each other before Aaron starts speaking. "Ever since Amy left, you've been acting differently" he says avoiding eye contact. He was obviously scared as you were in shock.

JJ then takes your hands which you didn't realise your fingernails had started bleeding "we are just worried about you" she said sounding genuine."we are sending you down to Dr. Cruz after this conversation is finished" Hotch continues "what do you mean different" you ask as he doesn't respond "Aaron what do you mean different?" you say even louder almost shouting. "Emily" he says sternly. "No Aaron I have the right to know what I'm doing that's so different"

"you are overworking yourself, you barely sleep, you avoid going home as much as possible, you refuse to talk about how you feel and when I try you just distract me with sex" he yells back. "Oh I distracted you with sex, you could've easily said no" you yell back. "You know I can't say no" he shouts back. "And why not" you shout back getting louder and louder every time. "Because I love you too much to say no, you are the sexiest person I know, I am so in love with you that I can't say no to you, in fact I love you so much that I can't stop thinking about you and it drives me crazy, I hate how you blame yourself on the whole situation. You are the best wife and the best mom anyone could ask for. This is not your fault at all"

JJ sneaks out as the tears pour down your eyes. You stand up and walk over to his desk. There you sit on his lap and just sob. Once you stop crying, Aaron wraps his arm around your shoulder and walks you to the elevator. The whole team were looking at the two of you with worry in their eyes. The walls were not thin but since everyone's desk was about 50 feet away from the office, they definitely heard your screaming match. You don't know how much they heard but you know that they had heard enough. God the team is going to be walking on eggshells even more around you now.

He then brings you down to Dr. Cruz's office and she comes out of her office. "Hi Agent Prentiss, please come in" she says as you follow her into your office. Aaron stays outside and sits down on one of the chairs.

"Hi Emily please sit" she says pointing to the couch as she sits down in the couch next to you with her notebook and pen in hand. "Well I wanted to start off by asking how you are" she says. "I'm okay thanks" you say awkwardly. "Emily" she says "I just miss Amy a lot that's all" "and that is completely understandable it's how you deal with her absence that's important, Now how are you dealing with it?" she asks.

"Um the normal I guess-throwing myself into work, avoiding the house" you say. "and what happens when you do go back home?" "I guess I distract myself" "that can be good as long as it doesn't turn into a problem, has it become a problem?" "Um Aaron would think so yes" "and what is this new coping mechanism?" "Sex" "mmh and how often do you have it?" "Um like 3-4 times" "a week?" "No a day" "and why would it be a our coping mechanism?" she asks "because it would be the only time that you forget about her.

The rest of the session went smoothly. You were told to try some new techniques and Dr. Cruz emailed Hotch to let him know that you were clear to enter back into the field. Some dumb rule that they implemented is that your therapist has to clear you after every session to make sure that you are mentally good enough to focus on work.

You check the time and see that you would have to be leaving in an hour to visit Amy. You walk out of the office and see Aaron on his laptop. As soon as he sees you, he puts down the laptop and puts it in the bag. You give him a big hug without warning. "How are you?" He asks nervously. "I'm better thank you" you said as you give him a quick kiss. "I love you so much" you say as he takes your hand. "Lunch?" He asks to which you gave him a big smile. "Of course" you said as you grabbed his hand and both walked over to the elevator.

You walked passed the bagel place that you used to go to when you were pregnant with Amy. Everyday you and Aaron would go and you would order an everything bagel as it was one of your many weird cravings at the time. Now, you can't even look at one without feeling sick as you would always throw it up the next morning. You ordered a plain bagel while Aaron ordered the same as you both ate them up. You then slept in the car as Aaron drove you both to visit Amy.

Aaron woke you up some time later and he took your hand as you walked in. You both walked up to the receptionist "visitation for Amelia Hotchner" Aaron says as she guides you to the same room as last time. "She's already in there waiting for you, you know she is so excited to see you both" she says as your heart couldn't help but beat faster at the news. You walk in while Aaron ran back to the car to grab Amy's school books. Amy was sitting down on the couch flicking through a magazine which she was obviously not interested. 

"Mom" she says as she runs into your arms. "Hi baby" you say as you kiss her head and wrap your arms around her. You finally felt happy again. "Where's dad? Is he on a case?" she asks trying to hide the fact that she is a little disappointed. "No he is just grabbing your things and is coming back soon" you say as he comes back with a big bag.

"Dad" she says as she jumps into his arms. "Hi princess" he says as he holds onto her tightly. He then puts her down and you all went through the bag. She looks back down at the bag. "Ugh, do we have to go through the bag" she asks. "Whenever you're ready" you say as you rub her cheek before pulling her back into a hug.

You go through the bag slowly go through the bag. "We don't need to finish this today hun" you say as you put your hands over hers. "Mom I'm fine" she says. You slowly finish going through all her books. Once the bag was empty, you put the stuff she doesn't need back in and get her laptop situated.

The nurse comes in and tells you that visitation time is up. You then visit her therapist who tells you that she is making steady process. You were so happy to hear that. Now you know that you made the right choice taking her to rehab.