The one with the youngest Geller

1.11

The One With Miss Bing
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"Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?" Chandler asked Monica and Pheobe after they told us about the hot guy in a coma.

"He doesn't have anyone."Monica reminded

"Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible."Pheobe said quietly

"I can't believe you said ʻwoowoo'" I don't even say 'woowoo'."Joey said loudly

"Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up!"Rachel yelled turning up the TV volume.

"Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one."The interviewer said on the TV

"Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax."Chandler said

"No way, forget it."I said

"C'mon, she's your mom!"Joey said

"Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?"Chandler ranted

"Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!"Rachel said

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'"Chandler mumbled

"C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast."Ross said

"You can say that because she's not your mom."He yelled

Rachel got up and opened the door.

"Bona sera."Paolo greeted

"Oh, hi sweetie."She said before kissing him.

"When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?"Ross asked

I could hear the disgust in his voice.

"Last night."I told him

"Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew."

"Hey hey hey! She's on!"Pheobe yelled

"Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?"The interviewer asked

"Your mom was arrested?"Pheebes asked

"Shhh, busy beaming with pride."He shushed

"This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man..."She started

"Now why would she say that its embarrassing?" Chandler asked cringing

"I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken."She continued

"Thats too much information"Chandler yelled pacing around

"Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?"

"Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love..."She replied

"Aw.Thats cute Chandler" I said

"This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone."He said

"Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad..."

"Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms."

We all looked at Chandler.

" ...And then he burst into flames."He mumbled walking towards the door.