Chapter 8: That's The Bottom Line

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Hannah's POV:

PULITZER: Gentlemen, the World is in trouble. Our circulation is down for the third quarter in a row.

Gentlemen. Just gentlemen. Ugh. She was so tired of not being included. Her job was to take notes, write down any questions or suggestions she had and ask later.

SEITZ: But, Mr. Pulitzer, every paper's circulation is down since the war ended.

True.

PULITZER: Whoever said, "war is Hell", wasn't trying to sell newspapers.

Ok, but war is hell. Was she the only one who thought that? Even if she wasn't, no one was going to argue with Mr. Pulitzer.

BUNSEN: We could use an exciting headline.

PULITZER: What have we got today?

SEITZ: The trolley strike.

PULITZER: That's not exciting? It's epic!

Epic? Really?

HANNAH: It's boring. Folks wanna know, "Is the trolley comin' or ain't it?" No one cares why.

SEITZ: And the strike's about to be settled. Governor Roosevelt just put his support behind the workers.

PULITZER: That man is a socialist.

SEITZ: Teddy Roosevelt is no socialist. He's an American hero.

PULITZER: The man wants to outlaw football for being too violent. Football! Violent?! You're right. He's not socialist. He's a commie!

NUNZIO: Mr. Pulitzer, please, you must try to sit still.

PULITZER: Gentlemen, please, you are making Nunzio nervous. And when Nunzio gets nervous, I don't look pretty.

HANNAH: You never liked Roosevelt. You wrote an editorial against him day after day when he ran for governor. And guess what? He got elected.

PULITZER: How can I influence voters if they're not reading my opinion?

SEITZ: Big photos attract readers.

PULITZER: Do you know what big photos cost?

BUNSEN: But without flashy photos or headlines, how are we supposed to sell more papers?

PULITZER: There's an answer right before your eyes. You're not thinking this through. People...NUNZIO KNOWS WHEN HE'S CUTTING MY HAIR TRIM A BIT HERE AND THEN TRIM A BIT THERE JUST A MODEST ADJUSTMENT CAN FATTEN THE BOTTOM LINE

NUNZIO: Mr. Pulitzer, please.

PULITZER: SHAVING IS TRICKY: THE RAZOR SHOULD FLOAT SHAVE ME TOO CLOSE, AND YOU MAY CUT MY THROAT IT'S THE SIMPLEST SOLUTION THAT BOLSTERS THE BOTTOM LINE

BUNSEN: But how does that help us sell more papers?

HANNAH: We don't sell papers, silly, Newsies sell papers.

BUNSEN: I've got it! Right now we charge the Newsies fifty cents for a hundred papers.

PULITZER: Yes...

BUNSEN: But if we raised their price to sixty cents per hundred...

PULITZER: Now you're getting somewhere...

SEITZ: A mere tenth of a penny per paper.

BUNSEN: Every single Newsie would have to sell ten more papers just to earn the same amount as always.

PULITZER: My thoughts exactly. It's genius.

HANNAH: It's going to be rough on those children.

She wished she could help the Newsies. She knew that must also have traumatic backstories like Oscar and Morris.

PULITZER: Nonsense. I'm giving them a real-life lesson in economics. I couldn't offer them a better education if they were my own.

Like Katherine. Maybe you couldn't, but I could. I was her tutor after all.

PULITZER: GIVE ME A WEEK AND I'LL TRAIN THEM TO BE, LIKE AN ARMY THAT'S MARCHING TO WAR PROUD OF THEMSELVES AND SO GRATEFUL TO ME, THEY'LL BE BEGGING TO PAY EVEN MORE! WHEN THERE'S DIRT ON OUR SHOES, BOYS, YOU HAVE TO RELAX! WHY THROW THEM OUT? ALL WE NEED IS SOME WAX LISTEN WELL TO THESE BARBERSHOP LESSONS FOR THEY'LL SEE YOU THROUGH!

SIETZ, HANNAH, BUNSEN: WHEN YOU'RE STUCK IN THE MUCK, YOU'LL BE FINE- YOU'LL ERASE ANY TRACE OF DECLINE

SEITZ: WHAT A TRIM!

HANNAH: AND A SNIP!

BUNSEN: AND A SHINE!

PULITZER: AND THE POWER OF PRESS, YES! ONCE AGAIN IS MINE! The price for the Newsies goes up in the morning! JUST A FEW COMMON CENTS, GENTS, THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE!

SIETZ, HANNAH BUNSEN: EV'RY NEW OUTCOME IS INCOME FOR YOU, THANKS TO THAT BOTTOM LINE!

The Delancey's POV:

Meanwhile, The Delancey's went to The Refuge that afternoon to help "take care" of kids. First, they had to beat them to the point that they were so weak that they couldn't do anything but lie in bed. They kidnapped their friends who were trying to rescue them from The Refuge. They had to soak kids who were trying to escape. They also starved the kids. The Delanceys felt bad for these kids. They were just like them before Mr. Pulitzer, Mr. Wiesel, and Mrs. Hannah had taken them in. They all probably had traumatizing backstories as they did. The Delancey's wanted to help these kids not hurt them, but they had their orders from Mr. Wiesel. So they did as they were told. Collecting more kids for the Refuge and more money for Snyder. They were finally rich and getting paid, they weren't going to do anything to mess it up for themselves. They finally had a good life and weren't going to mess it up.

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