VOLKO

Chapter Twenty-Five

A lady by the name of Lillie introduced herself as the doctor. The second woman I'd met who worked here since I'd arrived. The examination was fairly quick, or had I just zoned out? Lillie had asked a number of questions, most I'd answered automatically. The others, I only snapped out of my own head long enough to answer them briefly.

The thing was, everything had happened so fast I'd barely had enough time to think let alone feel. Somehow I'd cut open my leg, whatever I'd caught it on had dripped open my trousers. The blood even now still wept down my leg.

I stared at it, hoping to feel the pain. Hoping, that sounded weird. Never in my life had I hoped to feel pain. Without Dean, I felt numb again.

I had to hand it to Lillie, she got the message pretty sharpish. I wasn't in the talking mood. Did that make me a bad person? She was more perky than Victoria, that's for sure.

Jake even liked her. Once it became obvious I was stuck in my own world Jake began chatting to her, most likely to fill the deafening silence.

As Lillie stitched up my leg (the only real injury I'd got), I liked sitting back and allowing their voice to wash over me. It sounded a lot like a loud humming, white noise. I didn't have to think up a response, I could just enjoy their presents.

Although Jake and Lillie seemed to be enjoying each other's company much more than mine. Silly really, noticing such a small thing like Lillie hiding her face when Jake made a flirtation joke. Or Jake less ambiguously checking her out when she went to get the stitches.

After I'd been given the all clear and told to get some rest Jake unexpectedly helped me down from the bed. More for Lillie's benefit I'm sure, but a nice gesture nevertheless.

I'd thought Jake might have stayed to spend time chatting up Lillie, so when he continued to walk me to my room I was pleasantly happy. The saying hard times reveal good friends came to mind. Jake may not always be there, but when it counted he was. Maybe this had meant he'd learnt from the Dimitri situation.

This time when I entered the hallway everyone else had vanished. The only noise that could be heard was the shouting match between Dean and Robert.

"By leaving you put the rest of us in danger. It could have been an organised attack!" Robert's voice boomed out into the hallway, even with the study door shut.

"But you know it wasn't. They didn't have enough time to organise an attack. I barely had enough time to organise security. If I hadn't left, she would have been dead. We both know that, so why am I in here getting my ass handed to me?" Dean shouted back.

Guilt settled over me. Had I really been the reason for Mike and Tony's deaths? Of course at the time I hadn't thought anyone would care about me. That kind of thing only happened in films. Why didn't I listen? Now two people have lost their lives. Their families had lost loved ones, just so I could spend a few days with the Cottons.

When I thought about it like that, I was an incredible selfish and stupid person.

And now Dean was getting a bollocking because of me.

"Why is Robert having ago at Dean?"

Jake shifted uneasily.

"I try not to get involved. Come on."

Since when? I thought. Had I done something so bad that even my brother didn't want to get mixed up in it?

Somehow I couldn't bring myself to ask those questions. What if Jake agreed? If he hated me for what I'd done?

So instead we fell back into not talking. Never had I felt so relieved to see that bedroom door. It kind of felt surreal, everything was just as I'd left it this morning. As if nothing had happened. That felt worse, like everything was normal, and it wasn't. Two people had died. They died for me, whilst I ran.