The Grisha Diaries (A Darklina Fanfic)

Chapter 12 - Feeling Whitney

MAL IS NOT home when I arrive, but Inessa is. I find her in the west wing of the house, playing with the children like nothing happened in the market today and I didn't just disappear after revealing I was still the sun summoner. I stand at the door of the playroom, signaling to her my arrival whilst avoiding attention from the children. I turn around to walk towards my own sitting room in the east wing allowing Inessa to follow me.

"How did you know?" I say, closing the door to the sitting room and pointing at the table for her to sit. My eyes thin, examining her expression for clues. "You grabbed my hands before I even summoned. You knew I had my abilities."

Inessa clearly felt challenged at my accusation as she defensively responds, "I'm pretty sure the whole town saw a blinding flash of light in the middle of the night last night. With you looking so much healthier than before, I wouldn't have been surprised if all of Keramzin had pieced it together."

"Oh," I state simply.

"The militisiya were not happy with your show and neither were the townspeople. I hope you know what you're doing," she says sincerely without the bitterness her words imply. "These children don't deserve chaos brought into their home." I should be insulted by the warnings she throws at me, but I'm not. I know her primary concern is the safety of the children and I admire her for her bravery to speak unfiltered thoughts to the sun summoner.

She's right. A good leader knows when to admit their shortcomings and I know I shouldn't have lashed out. Especially considering what the Darkling did to the orphanage in the past because of my connection to it. But, I wasn't going to be a bystander to the persecution of my own people either.

My people.

"Thank you Inessa. The children and this orphanage is lucky to have you." I say in a dignified manner.

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I SIT AT MY desk waiting for Mal to come home for about an hour. Staring at the wall in front of me trying to figure out how to approach this impeding argument. I plan to own up to what happened in the marketplace. But, this argument is going to be greater than that I know it. Do I admit to not wanting children in the same conversation? Rip it off like a bandaid?

Should I even marry Mal, part of my head screams at me. I'm trying to imagine my life as the sun summoner here in Keramzin with Mal and it doesn't make sense. Something or everything about it feels wrong.I don't want to feel small. I want to play a part in politics and use my abilities to protect and save lives.

I hear the closing of a door and heavy thumping up the stairs. I stand up preparing for the impending argument.

As expected, Mal comes through the door but with a smile. He probably hasn't heard about it yet, I think. But, I know if I don't mention it to him now it'll be worse later when he inevitably finds out.

He pauses as soon as he sees me standing like a statue in the middle of the room. "How are you?" he asks me carefully, his eyes scanning me up and down.

"Good uh- I have something to tell you about what I did today," I begin to introduce the topic.

"I heard," Mal says too simply.

Based on his expression I am pretty sure he had not heard. "No- uh- today I went to the market."

"I know. Everyone knows."

I wait, and wait, for his anger to come, but it doesn't. Mal only looks at me a bit skeptically.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks again, finally stepping all the way in the room and closing the door behind me.