The Girl with the Uninvited Ghost: Pandemonium Cozy Mystery #1

Chapter 21

Nancy recoiled as if slapped. "The cobbler, again? You told me you were finished with him." The words dripped from Nancy's lips like venom off a cobra's fangs. "First, Jeff is a no-show, and then you betray me."

Sylvia opened her eyes and met Nancy's gaze. The shorter woman's eyes brimmed with tears. "I love him. He's just so beautiful. Those muscles. His piercing blue eyes. The red hair. He's my kryptonite." Sylvia prised her gaze from Nancy's enraged glare. It searched the yard briefly before landing on the handsome buff server Nancy had drooled over.

Nancy turned to follow Sylvia's gaze and sputtered, "How dare you."

From his station at the grill, Nancy's husband also followed Sylvia's eye line. His meek, plastic face flushing at the realization of what Sylvia implied.

"You're off the committee! How could I have ever trusted you?" Nancy collapsed in a nearby lawn chair and began to sob.

Tony appeared and grabbed Mahogany's hand, breaking her trance over the slow-motion drunk suburban white woman train wreck occurring before her eyes.

She smiled and allowed him to lead her from the party.

"That was bananas," Evelina said. In her arms, she held a bowl half-filled with potato chips. A white paper plate was balanced atop, containing three steaming veggie burgers, complete with buns, and fixing.

"No, that's bananas," Mahogany said, pointing to the stolen food in Evelina's arms.

Evelina puffed up her chest. "I'll have you know this is not only our lunch, but it allowed me to interview the hot-stuff server."

"I wondered where you'd gone. What did the server say?" Tony asked.

"Well, his name is Hank Williams," Evelina began.

"Like Hank Williams, the country singer?" Mahogany interjected.

"His mom's a big fan," Evelina said. "He just graduated from high school, and he's doing yard work around the neighborhood to save for spending money this fall when he goes off to college in Eugene."

"Just graduated high school?" A look of disgust twisted Mahogany's features. Evelina nodded, her expression mimicking Mahogany's.

"Gross," Tony said. "Nancy's old enough to be his mom."

"Oh, that's not the half of it. Nancy pays him extra if he works with his shirt off," Evelina added, taking a large bite from one of the burgers.

Mahogany and Tony both grimaced.

"Apparently, Nancy has a slew of newly graduated high school boys working for her. Some of which would do almost anything to make her happy."

"Like murder?" Mahogany said, raising an eyebrow.

"Perhaps. There was one boy, in particular, Nancy keeps on the down-low who's special to her," Evelina took another bite of her burger.

"Who?" Tony asked.

"Hank wasn't sure."

"It's a good lead," Tony said. "Let's head back to my place to update the murder board, check out the letters, and eat before it gets cold."

"That's stealing," Mahogany said, nodding to the bowl as they headed to their respective vehicles.

"I prefer unauthorized borrowing, thank you very much," Evelina said. "I doubt they'll miss it."

"We need to confirm Sylvia's story," Mahogany said. "If she was with the cobbler, she's off the suspect list."

"Oh, I love shoe shopping," Evelina said. "Nancy mentioned she was with her husband watching movies, but when I asked her husband what he was doing the night of the murders, he said he and his son were home alone. No wife."

"She was probably with the hunky server," Tony said. "And what about Jeff. His sister said he'd be here."

"Nancy mentioned he was a no-show. She seemed upset about it." Mahogany said.

"No last name Mahogany. What brings you here on this fine summer day?"

Mahogany turned, startled, and watched as Detective Teresa Sawyer strode over the immaculate sidewalk toward them, her New Balance sneakers muffling her steps.

"Hello, Detective. Just enjoying a bit of barbecue." Inside her chest, Mahogany's heart danced the mambo.

"I just finished chatting with Karrie Samuels, and she mentioned three private detectives came and spoke to her about the murders at the brownstone. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?" The detective studied them with a keen eye.

Evelina made a squeaking noise in her throat.

"I don't know what you mean?" Mahogany said, silently cursing Evelina for telling Karrie they were PIs.

"She described the three of you as if you were standing in front of her. Quite a feat of mental gymnastics for one who's been pounding liquor for the past few days. You must have made a lasting impression."

Mahogany, Tony, and Evelina stared at the detective but said nothing.

"You wouldn't mind showing me your investigator's license?"

"We're sorry," Evelina blurted, her face the color of beets. "It just came out. It won't happen again."

"You're right. It won't. Now get out of here with what I can only guess is stolen food before I arrest you for criminal impersonation."

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A/N: I love Evelina's rogue demeanor. She just doesn't care what anyone thinks. It must be a liberating mindset to live in.

I went and dedicated this chapter to the wonderful jeanaswanson who wrote this book that is snorting milk out your nose funny. Fag Hag is about love unrequited, friendship, cattiness, and drinking. What more can you ask for?