Memory Lane

Chapter 34. The Alert

Jax

I spent the night in the clubhouse last night. I laid in a bed with Abel and Des, while we slept on either side of him. Neither of us got any sleep last night, and we whispered to each other through the night. With every word she spoke, it was like she was speaking to the broken man inside of me. Her easy navigation through my emotions remained unmatched to this day.

She knew what was coming, what I would have to do to Tara to even the score. This was how things ended when someone betrayed a Teller. My rage didn't allow me to see anything more than the facts, and the facts were she killed my mother and she took my son. There was no remorse or hesitation for what I aimed to do. She had no remorse for what she did to my mom, she never showed any. If I knew her like I thought I did, she was justifying everything to her standard. Making a list of everything she's done and every reason as to why she did it.

She never bared any responsibility when she entered my life. Everything that happened to her was my fault, or the clubs, or Gemma's. Everyone in the world was always out to get her, always the victim. Realizing this made me see the differences between her and Desiree. Desiree had gone through the worse thing imaginable but still refused to point fingers. And she had every right to point fingers, out of anyone she deserved to do that. But instead, she decided to continue her life and rebuild as a survivor and stood strong in every choice she made, I admired her for that.

"What's on your mind Teller?" she said softly. I turned my head over to look at her, she looked so tired. She probably hasn't slept since Gemma's passing. Tears blurred my vision, "you think I'm a good man? That I deserve to raise my boys, you think I deserve that?"

The room was silent for a moment and I could hear Abel's soft snores. "Yeah, I think you're a good man."

I scoffed and let out a dry laugh, "you're just saying that."

Des's face was serious, "no, I mean it, I think you're a good man. I'm not measuring you by whatever idea you have in your head of what a good man is."

"Des, I'm an okay mechanic with a GED. I have a record longer than any CVS receipt I've ever seen, and I can't even protect my family correctly."

"Jax what happened with Tara and Gemma wasn't your fault, no one could have predicted that. You have done what you thought was right for your family, and you're a son, being an outlaw is kind of a requirement." Desiree's hand reached over to rest on my chest, "you can't become the man you want to be if you keep fighting the man you were."

I placed my hand over hers and we stared at each other in silence. However, a light knock on the door caused us to break apart. Opie poked his head in the room and gestured over for me to go into the hallway. "We got company," was all he said as he disappeared down the hall. I looked over at Desiree who had concern written all over her face. "Stay in here, don't make a sound." I put my cut back on before walking into the hall to find T.O. standing with some of his crew.

"What's up man," I said as I dabbed him up. He shook his head, "I've got some bad news, some of Pope's errand boys ran up on your old lady in Oakland."

"What?! Where's my son?" panic shot through me in huge waves. T.O. put his hands up, "the kids fine, he's at one of my member's old lady's house, she's taking care of him. I can have her bring him in here for you."

"Yeah, just bring him here," I said feeling myself begin to calm down. "Where'd they take the girl?"

"That's where the bad news comes in," T.O. reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He turned it over to me and showed me a picture of Tara who had a busted lip and a bruise on her face. I turned my head away from seeing the image because quite frankly I couldn't see her that way. I wouldn't have tortured her that way.

"So, what's the move? What do you want us to do?" T.O. and the rest of the club seemed amped up to hear my direction. But I was at a loss considering what Tara had done, but I also didn't want her to be continuously tortured by Pope's guys. Letting him kill her like that would not only scar me, but it would send the wrong message to Pope. He would translate this as weakness and build his ego on my lack of interference.

"Call the cops," I turned around to see Desiree standing behind me. Everyone looked at her with a puzzled expression after her suggestion.

"We can't call the cops, it wouldn't look good," Tig chimed in.

"Why not? The beloved surgeon is kidnapped by a notorious drug lord and that does not cause public panic? We don't have to do anything, just have to give a tip."

Des walked over to the phone and dialed a number. It didn't take long for someone to answer before she changed her voice from calm to anxious. She feigned distress as she pleaded with DA Patterson on the other line. I was a little confused as to what would happen next but I trusted that she knew what she was doing.

She obtained the address to Tara's whereabouts from a napkin that T.O. had written on. Before I knew it, this place was swarming with feds, but for the first time they weren't here for me, they were here to help me. It was a drastic difference from what I was used to and it almost felt surreal. Against my better wishes, Desiree had let Patterson know of Gemma's murder. Patterson had wanted to speak with Abel but didn't push him past his comfort zone.

"You did good by calling us Jax, this is how we should be, working as a team," Roosevelt said as he went on the mission to find Tara. I had managed to sneak off into a bedroom while dragging Desiree with me. Once we were out of earshot I wanted to give her a mouth full.

"Why did you suggest this? What good will they do?"

"Jax, if you killed Tara, you would be a suspect in her murder. And once they found out about the drugs Tara injected into Gemma, they would have cause and you would go away. I couldn't allow you to do that."

"Okay, but what happens when they find her?"

"Well, two things happen if they do it right. Whoever is left of Pope's men is eliminated as a threat, and after Tara is fixed up she goes to prison."

"That's enough for you?" I stepped closer to her and tried to meet her gaze. She seemed far off after I asked my question. "Des?"

"She never wanted her around, Gemma was lonely and fragile. She knew that and didn't care; she would have taken any bone that was thrown at her. But there was too much of a power problem, everything was a chess move with her." Des's eyes began to water and she sucked in a breath, "I want her to miss out on everything. Birthdays, holidays, everything that she took from Gemma. Everything that she denied her."