Me - Sadie Sink

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Y/n's POV
Yet another Monday I woke up with a terrible hangover. I groan as I swung my legs over the side of my bed and made my way into the white colored bathroom looking at myself in the mirror

This wasn't me

This isn't me

God. I look like a mess

I tuned 21 two months ago and all my friends was like you need to drink and party while you can. So I have been partying every weekend and I hate it

I hate being a people pleaser

My whole life I have done everything to make people like me. To accept me

Having your music career start when you are 14 maybe wasn't as good as I thought. I grew up wanting to please people for fuck sake. I don't know how to do anything else. I always do as the press say. I never share my opinion on things. I keep quiet and try to be the perfect girl I'm not

I don't even have a life outside of music. I used to wake up, work out, work and go to sleep all over again. I still do the same but with a lot of partying in between

My friends isn't really friends. As soon as you say something that is bad or something negative they cut in and try to pretend everything is perfect

I look into the mirror just staring at my dull eyes

This isn't me

And that's when I decided to say fuck it and fuck you to everyone

I swallowed some pain killers before I pick my phone up. I call my publisher, manger, makeup artist and stylist. And with not hesitation I fire all four

I call the studio telling them to cancel all my sessions because I'm not coming back

And just like that I quiet music but no one will know

With no pressure on my shoulders I look back into the mirror and find myself not giving a shit what anyone things form now one. I just want to be myself

So with hesitation I pull out a par of scissors and cut my long hair off. Glancing into the mirror I saw it looked like a mess so a grabbed the old shaver my friend left a few weeks back and shaved the sides and cut the top a bit more and it wasn't perfect when I looked at myself but it felt like me

After that it just got worse. I threw out 95% of all the clothes in my closet. Wouldn't be needing the short dresses and tight skirts any more

Because that wasn't me

The next day I threw away all the food I didn't like but everyone said it was good for you. I threw all the ugly and uncomfortable shoes out before I went to fix the hair at a barbershop

Day three, four and five I went looking and bought a house that felt like me. I quickly started moving my things from the all white house my friends thought look amazing and to the black and dark grey house I thought looked incredible

I bought new furniture to the whole house and bought myself a totally new closet

All this took less the two weeks

I wasn't speaking to my old friends and all my social medias was deleted and gone form my phone

I then found myself think. And now?

I didn't know what I liked except for music. I had nothing to do in my free time because I dropped my old workout which was basically only cardio so I wouldn't look to big or to fat

So I tried things

Staring with cooking which I really enjoyed and when I found out working out with minimal cardio was fun the went right together. So I started to eat good and healthy while I still enjoyed it

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