Me and my girlfriend had broken up about a month ago, and I couldn't be sadder than I was right now. I had been with her since I was about 14 or 15, she had been with me the entire journey of my career.
Before we were even together we were childhood friends. I lost her. I couldn't handle it, I thought that maybe by breaking up with her, it would fix the pressure on me. I was mistaken.
flashback
"I can't do it anymore, y/n, its too much! The pressure on me to give enough time for you just for you to feel loved. I don't even know if I love you at this point it's like I'm trying to force myself to love you!" I raise my voice a little.
We had gotten into an argument about me not giving her enough time. Honestly, she had a point, I had been ignoring her for the past week or two, but I was stressed and I wasn't thinking straight, all the pressure and anxiety was pushing me to make mindless decisions.
Y/n just stands there her eyes watering "wow.." she trails off, I then realize what I had said and shut my eyes closed and exhale deeply.
"I didn't mean it like that- it's just a lot right now, alirght? You understand, right? I'm sorry" I try to put a reassuring hand on her arm.
"I think you made yourself pretty clear, nick. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I should be a top priority, but I just wanted you to at least know I would be here to hear you out. I wanted you to know you didn't have to push me away, but if that's what you feel, then I'm sorry, thank you for everything." She wipes the tear that fell away quickly as she finally leaves, the last sound I hear is the door closing shut.
Myhead falls into my hands as I realize the only person that had kept me sane had just left me. The only person tht has been with me through thick and thin, gone. All because of me.
Flashback done
I sigh at the memory and just throw my head back "how are you holding up, frack?" Brian asks sympathetically as he pats my shoulder "bad, very bad" I cross my arms groaning. It had been bothering me the entire month, and I couldn't work properly because of it.
"Write about it" Brian suggested as he handed me a paper and pen, my head shoots up at this as I just raise a brow "I not good at writing, you know that rok" I shake my head as I throw my head back onto the couch once again.
"Don't need to be a song, nick. Write what you feel." He puts the pen and paper down as he goes back to recording with the others.
I decided I'd give it a try and I did.
Eventually that song ended up on the Millennium album, and the guys liked it.
(A/n: fully aware this was written by Kevin based on real life experiences but I'm running out of ideas, stfu.)
December 13, 1999 Orlando, Florida Y/Ns POV
"Have you heard the album?" Nick asks me as takes a seat beside me, a can of beer in his hand. We were finally able to work things out and we eventually got back together, stronger than ever as well.
"Nope, not yet, I haven't been able too I was too busy mourning and weeping" I jokingly responded as I pretended to wipe teras from my eyes making nick giggle.
"Well one of those songs are dedicated to you" nick grins like a small child in a candy store. "Is it now?" I smirk as I face nick "mhm, I wrote it when we broke up" nick says the disappointment evident in his tone of voice and slight frown that played on his face.
"Can I hear it?" I ask as I lean my head on his shoulder "of course you can" he gets up and gets the millennium cd putting it in and skipping it to the song 'back to your heart'
Soon the song comes to an end and me and nick both have teary eyes. We were just cuddling in bed as the next song came on, something called Spanish eyes.
"I missed you a lot that time and it was about a month after we broke up, Brian saw me sad and all that depressing shit and told me to write it out, I did and we ended up using it as a song" nick explained.
"Its beautiful, I'm happy we got back together nick, I really am" I look up at nick "I'm happy you do" he kisses my nose making me scrunch my nose in response.
"I hope we stay together, forever" I grinned "I'm sure we will, we will survive this, alright?" Nick squeezes his arm around me "I know we will, were breakup-proof" I joke.
"Exactly" he chuckles along "what about you, what did you dow hen we broke up?" He asks as he looked down at me "I stayed in my room the entire time. KJ had to practically vaccuum me out of my own room" I laughed.
"I didn't eat, sleep, or drink. I would from time to time because KJ would force me to but you know" I shrugged cuddling into nick even more scared Id loose him if I let go.
"I'm sorry" nick apologized "nick, don't apologize, its the past and its also my fault alright?" I reassured.
"I still feel bad though" he pouted "nick. Forget about it alright?" I laughed as I pinched his cheek making him frown playfully.
"I love you" nick gives me a peck on my lips.
"I love you too" I respond as the song 'Spanish eyes' comes to an end.
── ⌗ end chapter *ೃ༄
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a/n: ill try to maybe update the connected heart soon maybe today idk 😫
