You Belong With Me

Jesse's diary entry

Jesse has a past
12/9/2022
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When I was a child people disappeared all around me, I stayed the same. My father was deadbeat, and my poor mother whoring herself to put food on the table. I killed a man when I was 9 years of age, Mother was fighting this man she met online after he tried to hurt her. Trying to calm him down. I did what I had to do to protect our family. I gambled on our last chance of freedom, he was the stalker type that had to be dealt with as soon as possible. So I shot him

I remember my mother, who crouched infront of me in the broken shack telling me " you're a good girl Jesse,"
" You did this to protect us" it was more as if she was telling herself these words. Reassuring herself because I was relived, if anything I was happy, happy that he was gone forever.

I think everyone has a past, mine not so different. No thats crazy, what I mean is my life wasn't roses and daisies before I saw you, Cleo. I had a past. As Raymond Chandler said ' There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set yourself'. The things I did for love, yes I was a player before you Cleo, a bad person, and cheating always finds a way to bite you in the back.

Jessica, I used to adore you jessie bear until you tried to strangle me but thats off topic isn't it? What matters Cleo, is that if we're going to make this work you have to be a little possessive too. Protect me how I Protect you, but to perfectly polish our relationship I have to drop the dead weight.

But It's not that easy. She has had an effect on me she's dangerous. I tried, but she's a lost cause, absolutely unbalanced. I did what I had to do I moved away I found you and started fresh. And now I have to rescue you before the green eyed monster destroys you.

Yeah of course, people like her never change.

Its taking a chance either way. Digging after the both of you. The way I did.

Flashback

I killed her, but the thing is I don't even know if I did or not. I was drugged for 48 hours. I had no memory of what I might've done that night, its a long story. and by the time I made it down to the basement her necks already been sliced open.

Poor girl, I promised you that you'd make it out of here alive and I failed. I failed you and your sister, Ella. How will I tell her?

I sat there in defeat if did i do this or not. This girl had a family and sister I failed to protect over chasing Jessica

I promise you,when i find out who did this I will stop them, even if it's myself. Believe me. I am so sorry for the person who did this to you.

I hear approaching footsteps, I gain my conpusure if I really deserve to go to jail, I will. with an unreadable expression, Jessica sits down and puts her hand to the glass indicating me to put my bloodstained hand against hers. Even though I'm covered in blood next to now dead girl.

Jessica looks at me, let me rephrase, she looks through me.

I sigh, knowing I have to play the hopeless act I despise the most.

"We can't be together Jessica, I think I broke you..

I honestly thought I did, when she opened up about her relationship struggles in the past. I made a mental note to never get stuck in situations like this. I should give myself a golden sticker

" I'm fine." she insists, with a stern look in her face. Trying hard to convince me.

She generally looked fine. I dont know what's going on inside though. This must be some type of Syndrome.

"Listen to me, this is not your fault. Katie, John, I killed them all. Their blood is on my hands!"

"Jesse, you didn't kill her,
I did"

She looked tired, with sunken eyebags and bloodshot eyes. Like she had been awake for decades.

The only thing audible was the blood dripping where a girl lays coated in gore with an open esophagus.

I sat there helpless staring at Jess, was the innocent girl I was chasing doing dirtier work than me?

Jessica looked like shes done this many times before, like she was explaining where babys came from to a 6 year old.

"When Katie died I thought the relationship I was in was the only one I deserved. But then I saw you. I knew right away, in my gut, I recognised something, a glint in your eyes. When you cheated once I thought to myself I can fix you, maybe I got a little obsessesed. With a little digging I figured out you were a playgirl. But I also found the real you, Jesse. You're  smart, crafty. and yeah you did some horrible things, but thats what people like you do in situations like that, and then Stephanie came along."

" I don't understand-"
I honestly didn't. I couldn't, almost as my brain refused to endure this new information.

" I dealt with her the same way you dealt with everyone else, make them disappear. I'm doing this because I wanted to Jesse. You didn't break me, you opened your heart to me. We're soulmates, Jesse."

What
The
Fuck
flashback

What the fuck indeed

She saw me, even the parts i'm ashamed of . I don't know what to feel. But i know what to do. It isn't hard to convince somebody you love them, if you know what they want to hear.

And now she's back a little birdie told me that she was on the hunt for me.

All I wanted her to say was "I understand if you dont love me anymore," and I'd say "No I dont. You're a clingy, psychopathic leech."

And it would be over and done with.

That was the moment I saw what and who you were Jessica. And I fell completely out of love with you.

And I have a feeling you have your heart set on me. And if you find out I don't feel the same, you'll lash out. And I am. Not putting my beloved on the line.

I'm not one to hit girls, but I'm also not somebody who lets their guard down.