Never thought I would feel like this- A Jenna and Tay love story

Being the little spoon

Tays POV

I lay in my bunk tossing and turning. I was worried sick to the core about Jenna. She's one of my closest friend and its unlike her to just wander off. I was especially worried because she's been very off these past few days.
I sigh and grab my phone, no new messages.

"Fuck" I whisper. It was coming back. The empty feeling. I go over to the bathroom and look into the mirror. I looked like a mess. My hair was tangled and my makeup ran down my face.

It's moments like this that make me remember what I am. Normally everyone puts you on a pedestal and hangs onto every word you say because you're in a band that they loved and so you're worshipped. You're idolised so much that people forget what you really are. Human. I'm no saviour, no hero, I'm just human. I fall apart like everyone else. I'm falling apart just like everyone else.

I felt tears form in my eyes. I really don't know what's been up with me these past few days. They empty feeling is coming back and I don't know why. I internally sigh. I take off my cloths and get in the shower,
I always relaxed in the shower, hoping my problems could wash away down the drain.

After I shower, I change into my lion king top and and pair of bottoms. I look at my phone one last time. It's nearly 4 and still no reply from Jenna. I decide to send her ones at message.

Me: Please be okay. I need you...

A heavy heart and an empty head seems to be all I know recently.

Jenna's POV

What did she mean by that? I stare at my phone, thinking about what to reply.

Me: I'm not going anywhere xx

I don't know of that was the right thing to say but I didn't have a clue at this point. But I hoped she was okay.
I felt my phone vibrate against my chest,

Tay: That's what they all said Jen x

I felt her pain in those words. I climbed out of my bunk and got a piece of paper and pen.

'Guys I'm just gonna go see Tay so don't worry about me, Jenna'

I leave it on the table and head out towards WATICs bus. I just needed to be sure she was okay. I was worried about her. Once I was at the bus I sent her a text

Me: You still up? xx

I really should've checked before I left. I was shaking from the cold,

Tay: Yeah xx

Me: I'm outside, let me in xx

I waited for a minute or two before Tay finally opened the door. I burst past her and into the warm

"Sorry about that" I say "it was so cold"

I turn around so I was looking at her, I felt my smile drop instantly. Her cheeks were tears stained and her eyes holding back new ones. She looked so upset and empty. Despite all that she was still smiling but we both knew it was fake. I walk over to her and hugged her tightly

"Oh Tay, what's wrong?". I feel her rest her head on my chest and gently start to cry. I slowly rub her back, she starts to cry harder.

"Shhh Tay, it's okay, I'm here" I squeeze her gently.

"I'm so sorry" she says quietly, I almost didn't hear her.

"Don't apologise Tay, should we go sit down and talk about it?". I felt her nod against my chest. I grab her hand as we walk towards the back room. Her hands were so cold.

I sit down on the sofa, she sits at the opposite end to me. She wasn't like her normal self at all.

"Tay come here" I hold my arms out and gesture for her to come over. She slowly moves over to me and rests her head on my chest. I wrap my arms around her waist.

"What was wrong Tay?" I ask her, I rub her lower back to try and comfort her.

She took a deep breath before talking,

"I was really worried about you and I felt myself start to panic. Thoughts started running through my head and I was scared I'd lose you. Everyone always leaves me." Her voice cracked at that. She took another breath before carrying on. "Then I felt the emptiness came back. Normally I'm always really happy but sometimes this wave of emptiness just comes crashing over me. My chest just aches for no reason and its heavy, it burns with the feeling of nothing. Every breath is just as difficult as the last" she starts to tear up again.

I pull her closer to me and don't say a word. I just let her cry on my chest. I never knew she felt like this. I'm didn't even notice. The amount of times she said she was fine, I wonder how many time she lied. She slowly calms down,

"Tay why don't you say anything before? I'm always going to be here to help you. I care about you Tay"

"I don't know Jen, I don't want to burden you"

"Tay look at me" I order. I feel her weight shift as she sits up to look at me. I grab her hands and look deeply in her eyes, even though they were red and bloodshot, they were still beautiful.

"You are never ever ever a burden to me. If you're feeling low I want you to talk to me. At what ever time, at whatever I am in the world. Ring me. Text me. Anything. Just know I'm ways here." I hope she knows that I meant every word.

She grabs hold of me and pulls me in for the tightest hug I've ever had. I felt my organs being squished. I groan in pain a little and she moves away with an apologetic look on her face.

"Thank you so much Jen. You always make me feel better" she smiles at me, her perfect smile.

I felt my cheeks redden a little.
"Don't worry about it, I should probably head back" I slowly begin to stand up but Tay grabs my hand. She looks at me, biting her lip.

"Would stay here with me tonight? I'm always bad at nights" she sounds a little ashamed.

"Of course I can" I smile

"Great!" She stands up and hugs me again. I laugh at her

" I don't have any night close through" I realise

" It's okay, you can borrow some of mine, if you want we can watch a movie, i find one if you get changed?" She have such adorable puppy dog eyes that I couldn't say no.

"Okay then" she giggles slightly and rushed off to grab cloths. I chuckled to myself, she was such a kid. She runs back into the room and hands me the cloths

"Go get changed and I'll get a movie and some drinks" I could tell she was excited, she had a large smile on her face.

"Okay. I'll be two mins" I walk to the bathroom and get changed. I blushes slightly at the idea of wearing Tays cloths. I walk out of the bathroom to find a range of drinks and snacks on the table.

"You were busy while I was gone" I laughed. She just stuck her tongue out at me. I smirk at that. I walk over one of the sofas and lie down. Tay switches off the light and lies next to me.

"What'd you doing?" I was a little confused, there was a whole other sofa for her

"Being the little spoon, duh" she laughs "Do you mind?"

"Not at all" I blush, glad she couldn't see me " what film we watching?"

"Lion king!!!" She yells. She was such a kid and she was so cute, the way she got excited over the smallest things. I shook my head. What was I thinking. I was probably just tired it was a long day.

Tay cuddles closer to me and I wrap my arm around her waist. Despite how eventful it was, it ended perfectly

Authors notes
Hey guys hoped you liked the latest update. This is a little darker then the others and I know I keep saying it but if anyone ever needs to talk I'm here. Comments would be greatly appreciated