Let me take care of you

Movies and panic

(I'm moving forward to about a month later because I feel like I'm going to slow with this story and I have very good plans for the next few chapters.)

Trigger warning, as per usual,
Cuts,
Self harm,
Self starvation,
Panic attacks.

Nick came into Charlie's room holding a tray of blueberry muffins,
"I brought snacks!" He said proudly, getting cheerful responses from everyone. He placed it on Charlie's basically empty bedside table, careful not to knock over the lamp. Elle took two and handed one to Aled, and Isaac took one two. Charlie, in the middle of this mountain of blankets pillows and friends on the floor, took none, but gave a kind smile.

Elle moved to the side closer to Aled so that Nick could sit next to Charlie, he sat beside him and snuggled up beside Charlie, still being careful with his frail body.
"Who's ready for an amazing movie night?" Nick said happily, holding the remote in his hand. Everyone cheered semi-enthusiastically,
"That's what you say every time." Elle said, rolling her eyes,
"That's because it gets better every time." Nick stated matter-of factly. Elle chuckled and nodded, getting comfortable under her fluffy blanket.

It was their fifth movie night since Charlie had gotten out of the hospital. Charlie seemed to be doing well now. His bruises had healed up well, his legs were still very painful, but he was getting better, slowly. Some of the nastier cuts were still there and would definitely leave some nasty scars, but what could he do about it? It's not like he could do anything or change anything about what happened. That's what Nick said anyway.

His therapist came over aswell, once every week, two times occasionally. She tried to edge on conversation with him but he wouldn't give much to her. They just went over the same topics every time, he would always tell her the same things, and if she tried to push further he would say that everything was fine. But she knew everything wasn't, he knew that everything wasn't, and sometime soon he would crack. He couldn't let that happen, it already caused people enough trouble having to take care of him, and deal with what happened. He just needed to move past it.

And of course, his friends were there with him the entire time, they had a movie night every Friday, sometimes they would come over after school, Nick always came over after school straight away. They tried to stay over as much, see him as much as they could, and any opportunity Nick had he would take to see Charlie. It was so kind, it made him so happy to see them, and they kept him up with all of the school drama and that lot. But he just didn't understand why they did it, it was just so much trouble to go through for someone like him. He was just some 'friend' who got into an accident, they were wasting their time to see him, him.

And everyone around him kept checking up on him, except for Tao, who hadn't come over yet, no one had seen him yet actually...

Everyone seemed so worried about Charlie, but he was fine, right? He left the hospital, and aside from nightmares which kept him awake and silent panic attacks which he kept hidden away from his family, he hadn't been struggling much, at least, he didn't think so. So why such a fuss? What was the point, he would get better, everything would go back to normal right? It would all be forgotten, and this would all be over, right?

He didn't want to remember this ever again, he didn't want to remember what happened to him, he didn't want to remember Ben, or the shed, or anything. He wished he had just not stayed after school, it was such a stupid thing to do, especially after all of those messages. Why did he do it? Was he that stupid.

And the court, oh the court. They were such a menace, his parents tried to protect him from all of the court drama, he already had to much stress, but he dug around and found out what was going on. It was really bad, their had already been one court case without him, but they would need a second where he was present, and he didn't know how he would do it. Police kept trying to get statements out of him and Nick and Mr Ayaji, which was annoying and stressful. How long did it have to be like this? How long did he have to deal with this stupid lingering memory of that he'll he went through?!

"Charlie?" He flinched as Nick suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Nick's worried face inches from his, the others didn't turn because the movie was starting and they didn't see Charlie panicking quietly to himself.
"Are you okay?" Nick asked, taking Charlie's hand into his. Charlie smiled politely and nodded,
"Why wouldn't I be?" He said, keeping his smile as natural as possible. Nick raised a weary eyebrow,
"You looked like you were going to have a panic attack again." Nick replied, very gently brushing his shoulder against Charlie's, bumping him. Charlie shrugged,
"I'm fine, I'd tell you if something was wrong."

Would he though? Would he tell Nick, in the past month he had been back home he hadn't confessed anything to Nick, about what the nightmares were about, he tried hiding the nightmares but it didn't work when he slept over. He hadn't even known he had a therapist, he just couldn't tell him, it would worry him, and Nick did not need that as much as he didn't.

Still though, it wouldn't hurt, it really killed him lying to Nick,
"Are you sure? I just don't want you stressing yourself out." Nick said, putting his arm around Charlie's shoulder,
"I'm sure, thanks for caring though. Now let's watch the movie otherwise we are going to miss all of the important bits." Charlie steered away from where the conversation was headed and focused once more on the movie. Nick sighed silently but smiled kindly, nodding while still making it clear to Charlie that he was still worried.

Nick didn't want Charlie to be hiding anything about what happened from him, and yes, that sounded controlling, but it wasn't like that. He just wanted to make sure that he was talking and not building it all up inside of him, because when he cracked, it would be dangerous for his mental and physical health, and Nick would hate it if anything else happened to his precious loved one. He loved Charlie, he loved him so much, but something was not being said, something that was keeping them at a distance from eachother, but he couldn't force it, Charlie had to let it out himself, however long that would take, that's if there was something, Nick was hoping that he was just overreacting...