Further Shennanigans
[when in a haunted house]
Screams: Mike, Zoe, Warren, Murray, Nefarious, Jessica
Calm until that one spook shows up: Ben, Erica, Alexander, Catherine, Ashley, Tina
Unaffected: Cyrus, Woodchuck, Hank, Hamilton, Jawa, Joshua, Shang, Dane
Counterattacks: Chip
Dispatcher: Police department, how can I help you?
Zoe: *whispering* I'm trapped in a room with a psychopath! Send SWAT immediately!
Erica: *in the background* SHUT THE HELL UP, ZIBBELL!
Erica: The glass is half empty.
Catherine: The glass is half full.
Alexander: *drinks the water* Now it's fully empty!
Cyrus: *sips coffee, trying to block out family*
Hank: ... that's your plan?
Chip: Yep.
Tina: Chip, that plan will most likely get us locked up.
Hank: Exactly. There's two places I'm tryna stay away from: jail and hell.
Chip: Trust me brother, you've got bigger issues comin' up on Judgment Day than this.
Someone: mIlItArY-gRaDe EqUiPmEnT...
Chip, Hank, Jawa, Cyrus, and Alexander: NOOOOOOOOOO—
Catherine: So you say that military-grade equipment means it's garbage, yes?
Cyrus: Correct.
Catherine: Well, in the UK, the British military's firearms are better than those of the civilian populace.
Cyrus: ... but civilians in the UK don't even have firearms.
Catherine: *frustrated* EXACTLY!
Catherine: Looks like I won!
Alexander: But I have you pinned to the ground.
Catherine: What's your point, dear?
Chip: (holding detonator) Ka-boom?
Alexander: Yes, Chip. Ka-boom.
SPYDER facility: (explodes in a mushroom cloud)
Warren: Chip, you're a chad. How do I pick up chicks?
Chip: *dead serious* Well, the fireman's carry is pretty good.
[later...]
Warren: (carrying Zoe) Are you in love with me now?
Zoe: WARREN, PUT ME DOWN!
Hank: (on the sniper rifle) You sure that's him?
Chip: (on the spotter scope) Yeah.
Hank: Positive?
Chip: I dunno.
Hank: You don't know if you're positive?
YOU ARE READING
Mind the Gap: a Spy School Collection
RandomStuart Gibbs has created a universe in which he presents a hypothetical scenario in which the Central Intelligence Agency would be like if middle and high schoolers were involved as officers-in-training. However, in the process, he left many questio...
