Unrequited love

Forty-four | Alex

Did my cautiousness for her only root in jealousy? What the fuck does that say about me? She's still my friend so I should care regardless of how I feel.

Right?

'Alex?' Lilah says so I turn to look at her. According to the look she's giving me, I think she's been trying to get my attention for some time.

'I'm so confused...' I rub my eyes with desperation.

'Think of it as character development,' she chucks a checker at me which makes me smile. 'You're broadening your character and that's good. Relationships and feelings are a bitch. They leave scars weather it's physical or mental,'

'Physical?' I ask but she doesn't give me an answer.

'Character development.' She throws another checker at me but this time I block it.

'You're right.' I sit up before glancing around the room. 'Want to go for a walk? I need to think about things.'

'If im there to bother you then you wont really have any time to think,' She leans her elbow on the desk so she can lean her chin onto her fist. 'You go and I'll stay, take your time and dont worry about me since im always here to bother you anyways.'

Giving her a warm smile I like how much she cares. I almost feel bad that I wished she regrets cutting me off. We wasted so much time since we've always gotten along. Missing out on memories we could've formed kinda of sucks to think about.

'You win,' I finally get up off the bed. 'I'll go,'

Moving another piece on the board. I'm genuinely shocked by how efficiently I'm playing against myself. By not allowing either side to win it becomes hard since I'm continuously trapping myself. Maybe I should buy a board just for me to play. Or I can just take Alex's, he won't notice.

Hearing the door open, I don't bother looking up. Alex probably got back from his walk. I wonder how his reflecting went and I hope my day will come. When I forget about Colton. I've been improving since I don't think about him as much and I can actively live my life normally now. Although I don't know if that's only because I haven't been face to face with him and I've been distracted by Alex. Maybe it'll all go to shit again when I go back to school and I make eye contact with him.

'Get this.' I hear an unfamiliar voice at the door. 'I went to Katie's house but she wouldn't let me in? She yelled at me to go away so I think some shit really went down in the short span that she had vanished,'

Slowly looking up, I realize it's not Alex but a girl standing there. She's using her phone so I don't think she's noticed me yet but she's pretty. I've seen her talking with Alex like every other day and I've been wondering if they where a thing or not. If they where dating I can see why.

She's beautiful. Brown skin which looks like it hasn't had a single blemish in the world and her hair? She usually has it in braids but right now she has it down and she has the prettiest curls. They look so soft and they fall down to just below her shoulders. Instinctively I touch my own hair but she might I've felt me staring since she looks up.

Tensing up when she sees me she turns her head around the room in search for Alex but he's not hers right now. 'What the fuck?'

'He went out...for a walk,' I pull my leg up on Alex desk chair so I can wrap my hands around it. Giving me the most confused look on this planet I understand. It's weird seeing me here right now she does probably wondering what I want. 'I was here talking with him and I told him to go for fresh air,'

'Why are you...here.' She creases her eyebrows. If anything she seems curious, despite how condescending it came out. It's fair since a little over a month ago I would've shoved past her if I had seen her at school. I wouldn't even take a second glance.

'I kinda flipped...which you probably know about because of the whole-' I try to find a word to describe it before just deciding to say it as it is, 'me being the whole crazy ex girlfriend.'

Blinking at me as if she's still confused it sinks in that I didn't actually answer her question. I just stated the obvious.

'Alex helped me not be crazy so I've been hanging out with him lately.' I brush my hand behind my ear awkwardly since the energy is so tense right now, so I decide to make a comment to ease it down. 'We actually kissed? It was so weird.'

Laughing I slowly stop when I realize that she's not laughing with me. Giving me the sharpest look I've ever seen I'm afraid to say anything in case she'll pierce into my skin.

'You what.' She says it as a statement. It's not really a question so I can't tell if she's being rhetorical or not. All I can tell is that she's pissed off and I'm not sure what I did to cause it. 'You know what? I'm just going to go.'

'Did I do something-,' I crease my eyebrows in confusion. Okay I really don't understand what I said that upset her?

'No.' She throws her hands up in annoyance. 'Just tell him I came over but then I left. We always hangout every other Friday anyways. I guess he forgot.'

oh.