Unrequited love

Nineteen | Colten

'Why can't you just tutor me instead?' I hear Lilah ask me over the phone.

Because I don't want to.

'Because I can't,' I answer her for the tenth time, 'Mrs Vander is a scary motherfucker so when she sees everyone's progress and finds out I switched you two, she'll put my head on a plate.'

I'm quite literally not lying, honestly I don't really know if they're any consequences of switching but if it does upset her then yes it will be my head. I'm not trying to take that risk for something that'll only last a couple months. We're just helping students out with their work, we aren't having sex, it's not a matchmaker club.

'Colton please...I hate this girl and I want to be with you for this,' she begs me but I just shake my head. Not that she can see it since we're not on FaceTime.

'Alyssa's nice just give her a change...she's a little quiet but smart,' I try to reassure her, there's nothing wrong with the girl she got paired with so I know she's just trying to find a reason to switch. She's patient and she's quiet. I can't see her causing any issues with Lilah.

'You're impossible.' She says not even bothering to try and hide how upset she sounds. 'But I have to go now okay...I love you,'

'Bye Lilah,' I respond before cutting the call and spinning around in my chair, trying my best not to hit the other one besides mine.

I never repeat it back because it's cruel. We aren't together, we're just in a messy situation and I don't want to make her feel like I love her because it'll just break her heart. I seriously don't know what I'm doing with her at this point and I need to figure it the fuck out because it's not fair on either of us.

Turning my head, I took my mothers office chair from her bedroom desk and brought it into mine. It's identical to the one I have just hers is in light green and mine is a dark red.

Hearing my phone ding I pick it up, seeing it's from Katie. She had texted me two hours ago asking for the address and mentioned she'd be here around this time.

'I'm almost there.' Her message reads, I don't respond since I don't feel like I have to.

I cleaned up an hour ago and got the books that are needed out since I revised some of their work in the class she's in and it's really not that difficult.

Even if I don't do medicine it's good to know that if you play sports so you can help yourself and others on the team. It's been really helpful since I was able to tell if players can continue to play or need to be benched and it helped a lot of long term injuries.

I don't think any of us had to stop playing because of a strained injury because of me. It's refreshing to know I could help out but most people think I'm just good at 'guessing if they're okay' instead of the fact that I genuinely study. They refuse to belive its possible for someone to be good at a sport and academics at the same time.