Six | Katie

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Sitting on the corner of my room I stare at my phone right in front of me

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Sitting on the corner of my room I stare at my phone right in front of me. I'm not sure what I did wrong but since Colton gave us that talk down, Noah's been ignoring me. I guess he was right though. Colton. It doesn't make sense for Noah to want me, for anyone to genuinely want me but god would it be nice.

It would also be nice for Noah to just return my calls. I've sent fifteen messages and it would be a stretch to send another. He posted that he was out, not even ten minutes ago and I send the first message yesterday. At the rate this is going at, I'd rather him just tell me he's done. Who am I fooling? No I don't. I don't want it to be over.

I used to never understand why people would willingly get into a relationship one after the other. I'd thought it would be better to cool off or not be in one at all. Have a moment where you're not around another person but now I could never understand more. The attention and the care I got from him felt great. Now that it's gone I'm itching to get it back but I'm not liked by other people. I can't just find another person because everyone fears my brother.

My middle school relationship was with a guy who didn't even go to my school. I craved attention as a little girl since all my friends where getting boyfriends but no one spoke to me. Now I don't care for it. The validation I mean. I don't care for men's opinions as a whole because I got used to never get that attention. I just want one person that I love to love me.

'Fuck,' I groan pulling up my legs so I can rest my face on my knees. This is just sad. 'Katie pull yourself together. You don't need him. Was it nice having someone look at you for you? Yeah but another opportunity will come another day.'

It's not like I was even dating Noah in the first place but I really do like him, despite him being a little questionable I never judged him for it. I have a reputation of being nothing but 'the little sister' but he never hung it above my head. People can be cruel and stick ideals on you so why should I do it to him.

If I where in his shoes I'd be worried too. Colton knows and Colton and Damon are inseparable. I don't know Colton enough to know if he's good at keeping things to himself so it would stress me out too. Distancing would be the safest option so it's not his fault. It's Damon's. He's like a shadow looming over me which I can't get rid of.

Getting up off the ground I storm out of my bedroom before walking down the hall, pulling his door open with so much force it even shocks me. I hadn't realized how upset I was. Slowly turning his head towards me he takes off his headset. He's on his computer playing a game he most likely snuck back from our parents since they keep confiscating them from him because they're 'too violent.'

'What?' He's agitated. 'If you want something from me, do it yourself.'

'Can you give me space? I know it's virtually impossible for you since you're image is pretty much all people think about when they see me. Except it would be nice if you stopped digging your hand into all my relationships. Please Damon. It's hard enough to find someone who isn't just trying to vicariously use me to get a popularity boost off your name. Stopping guys as a whole from talking to me is crazy!' I lash out at him. 'So please stop. Stop threatening them, stop everything. I just want to live like everyone else is living,'

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