It's my turn to love you

16. WISHFUL THINKING

Pallavi Shree's point of view:

"AADWIeeek STOP!!!" I shout as I run behind the lean little boy of 10. I suddenly have ragged breath due to continuous running and I stop holding my knees with my tiny hands.

"Are you okay Shree.." achyut asks holding my shoulder. I shrug off his hold as I see aadvik staring at me with a blank expression.

Aadvik comes and stands in front off achyut

"How many times should I say... you should not call her shree.." 

 "Shree shree shee sree .. .. ... " achyut monks at aadvik and they again start their running and chasing. They are the only friends I have in my grandma's home town and I like them both more than my friends in delhi.

Every time I play with them my lungs are filled with happy laughter and my voice box becomes tired shouting around them. But for me the happiest fun happens in the later part where..

I wait until Achyut's mom comes to pick him up because if achyut is with us, aadvik will only play with him mostly... I don't know why but aadvik will start playing with achyut intensely when achyut asks me to play with him.

As soon as achyut leaves Aadvik asks " Ready? " and I just start smiling seeing the new toy he bought this time.

Aadvik is really possessive in his things ,He will not share it with any one that's why he will not take his one toy outside... until achyut leaves, 

He will not share with me too..... , but this time to my shock when I returned (after settling in mumbai and joining school there) he held both my hands and jumped up and down saying

" I missed you Pallavi... I will share my toys this time.... don't go... Please... I promise.. I will give you new toys daily to play... Pleasee... Shree..."

It was the first time that he called me shree.. I still remember that day like yesterday....

I started smiling at my new nick name.. Even my father calls me Shree at times when he misses his mom but my mind registered it only now... 

when it sounded as though it really belonged to his mouth.

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" All I did was... to love him "

I just lie in the bed... there is a mirror just in the side of my bed. 

I see the same face again in it... the face that I wished I will not see again in my life after coming far away from him...

I was tired of crying and I had red eyes and my hair was in a messy state .

I take a deep breath.

"he said... he does not feel guilty at all.. because.. it was you.. who foolishly fell for his small kind gesture... and he has no feelings for you" 

I know he does not have feelings towards me.... but he should not have... criticized my love for him... 

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"How do you expect him to react if he doesn't like you..." Achyut's words were repeating inside my mind.

( why do I still feel pain in his topic even though I knew one year before itself that he was never mine??)