P. S. I LOVE YOU (Editing) #YourStoryIndia

CHAPTER 12: Thoughts [EDITED]

Edited

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CHAPTER 12: Thoughts

***Claires POV***

You know, when you know something that has been eating you up gor years, you can't just think straight. It messes with your head and it takes a toll on your mind.

I seriously don't know what's happening. Just when i was about to believe everything was going to be okay from now on and that i had found someone with whom i actually belong, this confession turned up. I had never expected that it would be such a difficult thing to admit.

If i am absolutely honest with myself, some part of me seems to be relieved to hear that James had laughed because he was forced to by Caroline. But some part of me, still doubts if he is telling the truth. Because James has hidden this from me for a long time, right? So it's a little hard for me to believe that he's telling the truth.

But as far as i know James, he wont lie to me about something serious as this.

But what if he is? To try to win back my love and friendship for him. He might lie. He might not. As i said my thoughts are all jumbled up. I can't think straight. All i know is that ninety percent I'm sure he isn't lying. I cling to the hope that he isn't lying to me. Whatever I said to him was true on my behalf. We cant ever go back to the friendship we used to have. Because some part of me will always doubt him and that definitely is not fair to him. As any other normal human being i will have my doubts. I will always have second thoughts about him. Cause let's face it. Once your trust is broken it takes a long time to earn it again. Trust, once broken, remains broken for a long time.

With these jumbled and messed up thoughts i walked towards Starbucks to meet Zach. I heard someone call my name but i didn't look back. I was too consumed and absorbed in my thoughts that i just couldn't look back.

"Hello sweetheart. What are you thinking?" Zach said to me.

I looked up at him. And as soon as i did, i could feel tears swelling up in my eyes. I saw his face change to concern. He cupped my face with his hands, stroking my cheeks and asked what's wrong with me. I just shook my head and put my arms around his neck and hugged him. I could not tell him right away. I myself had problem admitting the fact. I knew that i have to give him a reason. But for now that can wait. All i needed was a hug from the right person. He was shocked by my response at first but then he wrapped his hands around my waist and buried his nose in my hair breathing deeply.

I dont know for how much time we stayed there like that. It felt like hours but it was only a few minutes. I was seeking comfort in his smell, his touch, his hair. I was seeking comfort from him. We would have stayed much longer but Harry's voice broke us apart.

"Claire? Zach?" He asked, looking a little confused.

I pulled apart from Zach and faced Harry. Well, since he too is here, i guess i have to say it out loud right away so that i don't cower away from it later.

"Oh my god Claire. Whats wrong sis? Why are you crying? What did James tell you?" Harry asked concern written all over his face.

I breathed in a lot of air and started telling them what James said, or rather confessed, and also what i think of it. I didn't edit even one bit cause i wanted them to know the whole thing. This is probably the first and last time I'm goimg to say this out loud, so i might as well tell the truth. As soon as i finished, i could see both of their fists clenching. God. Here comes trouble.

"Listen. Don't tell anything to James about what i said to him, Harry. He just wanted me to know the truth, okay?"

I could see Harry was trying to object so i put up my best puppy dog face (which always got him to listen to me, mind you) and said, "Please? Pretty please?"

I could see him debating but he gave in nonetheless. I told ya. I always win. Take that.

Suddenly as an afterthought, i added, "And Harry? Can i stay alone with Zach tonight? Please?"

He was hesitant to give in but he agreed after due consideration. Before leaving for my house i hugged Harry tightly. Then i and Zach made our way to my house, hands intertwined with each others.

***

《There you go. Chapter 12! Enjoy sweethearts!

Love,
Elena. xoxo. 》