MASON AND SAGE

Chapter 9 ~ Sage

Taylor looked thoughtful. "So, no reconciliation in the future? Are you sure about this? I know you're mad right now, but you love this man. There's no doubt in my mind how much you love him. And I know he loves you, even though he made a terrible mistake. That man looks at you like you invented beer and motorcycles and football and the Marine Corps."

"Tay," I said, "Eva is the most awful person you can imagine. Even if I wanted Mason enough to overlook what he'd done, there is no way I would get mixed up in his life ever again knowing that he and that bitch are going to be connected through that baby for years and years and years. She's so nasty, she'd make sure to try to make his life miserable because he didn't choose to be with her."

"No step-mama-ing for you?"

I made a face at Taylor. "If a man had a child from a previous relationship when I started dating him, that'd be one thing. But having to deal with a baby that resulted from my man cheating on me? No. Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. Keep your cheating dick and the product of your cheating far, far away from me because I want nothing to do with either one. There's no way in hell I'm the type of person who could deal with that. I am not that nice or forgiving. Some women are, and I admire being that kind of person who can accept and forgive, but I know myself and I know, to my bones, that I'm not one of them."

Taylor nodded her understanding. "I hear you. Not sure what I'd do, faced with that situation, but it probably wouldn't be pretty."

"I love Mason. That's a fact. But I can never get past this -- his cheating, his lying, his fathering a baby. It's too much. And it may break my heart, but I'd rather live with that than live with him, knowing he had to interact with Eva because of the baby. How can you be with a man when you resent him and his child? I know the child is innocent, but I can't get over his origins." I stopped and looked up at them. "Does that make me a terrible person?"

Hannah shook her head. "No. I think it just means you're a person who knows her limits. Some women could forgive and accept the child. More power to them. That's an amazing display of forgiveness. But some women could never accept the cheating or the child that resulted. And that's just as valid a response. Better to know that than to try and end up resenting the child. That's not good for any of the parties involved."

I nodded, feeling a bit better in my mind about my decision to be done with Mason. My heart, though? That was a different matter.

Two weeks later, as I was sorting through my mail, I came across a light green envelope that looked like a birthday card at the bottom of all the junk mail. Curious, I opened the envelope, pulled out the thick piece of cardstock and found myself staring at a picture of Mason and Eva. He was standing beside her, looking down at her adoringly, his hand next to hers on her baby bump.

We're so excited to find out whether our little blessing is going to need a pink or blue nursery! Please join us at our home for our baby gender reveal!

My breath seized. The address listed was Mason's. They hadn't lost much time making it official and moving in together, but reading that invitation made me sick to my stomach. Just two weeks ago, a mere fourteen days, he'd been with me, insisting he couldn't possibly be the father -- and now he was living with this bitch, excited about his baby and planning a gender reveal. With Eva. So much for his protestations of innocence, begging me to believe him, believe he couldn't possibly be the father of Eva's spawn. He hadn't touched her since before he and I got together and it was just a ten-second kiss in the alley that night.

There's something off, something happened, but I am not that baby's father. That's the truth. You have got to believe me.

Apparently, once I'd made it clear that I wasn't buying what he was selling, he'd gone right back to Eva, just like he always did.

Mase has never been able to resist me. And he didn't resist me that night.

I would never understand why a man pursued one woman when he already had another woman on the side, a woman whose past was so enmeshed with his that they could never really be separated. And all the people they hurt along the way, well, they'd just have to get over it because there's no stopping true love from triumphing. Try as he might, Mason had never been able to resist the allure of Eva, the pull she had on him and this alley baby was just proof of that. 

Nothing made sense to me, and sometimes, that's the most difficult aspect of a break up to come to terms with: it might never make sense. You go over and over every word, every action in your mind, wondering if you missed the signals that things were going to explode or if it truly was the surprise that it seemed. All women became biology majors after a breakup and we drove ourselves crazy dissecting the hell out of every aspect of the relationship.

I'm not going to let you end us over something that meant absolutely nothing.

Looking at the picture of the two of them on that stupid invitation, I scoffed. It meant absolutely nothing, Mason? That's why you moved her in with you so fast and are in party planning mode?

Sage, I don't love her. I love you. You're the one I want to marry. Swear on everything holy that it was meaningless to me – it was just kissing. I stopped her before she could undo my belt. It meant nothing.

So it meant nothing turned into living together in Mason's house, where just weeks ago, he'd been trying to convince me to move back in with him. That could have been a little awkward -- not to mention crowded -- if I'd taken him up on his offer.

This was a huge lapse in judgment, sweetheart, and I'm so fucking sorry. You're the woman I love, and you are the only woman I want to spend my life with. 

Maybe that was a clue. Is a kiss really a huge lapse in judgment? Or had that been a slip of the tongue and he was unconsciously telling me that it had been more than a kiss in that alley?

I promise I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.

Except tell me the truth.

I put that fucking invitation right on my refrigerator door so I could look at it and be reminded of his lies.

Everything turned out to be a lie.