Flamingo'd: Filthy Frankx Reader

Chapter Six It Was Surprisingly Good

The sheer amount of porn you had purchased, in the most polite terms, was ridiculous. After checking out parts of the city, and realizing how fucking huge this dimension was, you had went to the porn shop and lasted about an hour in there, and made acquaintances with the store owner. Not only did they have graphic novels, but movies, and normal porn novels. You had spent so much money there that you had to carry four large paper bags, and had to take the bus home.

You finally got back to the apartment. It was 8:23, you still had plenty of time to get ready. You were ready for a well- anticipated hot shower.

Then you had to go to his place.

You let the warm water cascade over your skins. You pull down your Lycra flesh hood, and sigh in relief as your scalp begins to become wet. You start to massage soap onto your scalp, and let your mind begin to wander. Just when you start to rinse out the shampoo, you hear a huge thud, and then a muffled squeal. At first you think it's coming from inside your apartment, but then you realize it's from your neighbors. What are those ass dicks doing? You wonder.

~############~

You tried to make yourself look at least half-way decent. Clean pants, t-shirt, hair still damp, but you tucked it back under your Lycra skin, so it didn't really matter. You walked over to your neighbor's door. Not even a second after you knocked, you were welcomed by...

What the fuck?

A white Lycra-person wearing a green frog like-hat. That was the least strange thing about this guy. His chest was exposed, the hand that wasn't creepily beckoning you in was just rubbing his nipple. Not to mention he had just a fucking creepy look on his face. Your just about to simply walk away, but then he pushed the Lycra-person out of the way, and he was wearing a lacy pink apron(OOH LOOK! I TRIED TO BE HUMOROUS! DO YOU LOVE ME NOW?!).

" Fuck off Salamander Man!" he then gave you a somewhat twisted grin," welcome to a glorious, you may call me a sexy bastard of a sun drop n' pop, or Filthy Frank, your choice really.

"Kay." God. He sounds like a what crotch itch would be as a person, and he probably was! But it was a bearable and somewhat humorous greeting. You walked into the apartment and is was.. really pleasant as a matter of fact. The apartment was much bigger than yours, and smelled of some awesome food. Everyone was sitting at a table, laughing and generally dicking around, except for a pink Lycra-man in the kitchen making a dessert, and a black guy filming him.

When dinner came around, it was some Russian dish that had a lot 's and v's in the name. After that it was creme brulee or something- honestly does it matter? Anyhow, during all of this you all discussed various topics, and you found out that you could actually understand what they were saying, despite the fact most of them either spoke a completely different language, or just made squeals and grunts mixed with gibberish. How you did, I don't fucking know. But you all discussed a variety of topics, varying from whether or not a guy could get his dick cut off and still be able get pleasure from rubbing the remaining nub, to why society pretends to be politically correct, despite the fact that many of there attempts more often then not makes them look more bigoted. Afterwards, everyone started to watch The BFG movie. Just when the movie end, you look over at a clock.

Holy pensive! 2:18! Jebus Creezeeys! Thank God it's Sunday today. You get up to go. "I better get going, see ya jizzes."

Everyone says bye of some for, except for for a resting Salamander Man, who was getting spooned by a sleeping pink guy. You weren't going to assume anything, but you unconsciously whispered under your breath "50% chance is gey."

Overall, you were glad you did this whole thing. Even though every person in that room were the last people you would want to be anyone's role models, their sense of dark humor and overall awkwardness made them sort of charming in a fucked up way, not to mention they were sympathetic beings, that you could could somehow relate to on a deep level. Simply put it, you were glad you finally had people that you could consider friends, and made the future seem a little less scary.

But then this bullshit happens.

Just as you reach the door to exit, Frank runs up to you, and attempts to do a sexy pose to block you from the door knob.

" How about I walk you home?"

"Frankekekekekekekes... I live live literally 5 feet away."

"Please?" he also attempts to look adorable, but it just creeps the shit out of you. So you deeply sigh, and the word 'prostate' escapes your lips.

"Okay, fine, just please stop doing that face thing, it's fucking creeping."

You open the door to your apartment, letting Frank in, "Now, this is Miley cyrus- my castle," you then silently curse yourself for misspeaking a phrase. Your guest looks around the small apartment,"Huh, way cleaner than mine."

"Thanks, I was able to get for a really good price as well thanks to-" THUD. Frank is now lying face down on the ground. You panic for a couple seconds, but then you see he is lightly breathing. He's sleeping.

You then realize you're too tired to deal with this, deal with it later, sleep now.

What a fucking day.