My Own Four Cents [2016]

Chapter 19: Making Me "Happyer"

On Thursday afternoon I get the mail as I often do when I'm waiting for a letter from Veronica. I find a white envelope with Veronica's sloppy cursive on it, and the words Maria Valasquez. I punch the air and open it at the kitchen table.

Dear Maria, I'm sorry to hear about your arm. How long is it going to be broken? The cochlear implant thing is awesome though! It will change your life! Are you going to take it or not? I think you should if it makes you happy. Make a choice and choose what will make you happyer-- I mean happier. Sorry, i'm so excited I'm making mistakes.

Love, Veronica

I write back as fast as I can get to Tanisha's house.

Dear Veronica,

I know it will change my life and I know it will make me happyer I mean happier. :) but do I really want to change my life THAT much? Do I really want to basically become another person? I don't know. I'm not sure if I want to stay myself or become the person I want to be. It's really a hard decision. I'll think about it, and next time I see you I might actually talk to you. Don't get your hopes too high, I'm just considering.

Love Maria

I press Print and then send it. Tanisha has been reading over my shoulder and she thinks I should do it soon. I tell her I can't yet, I have to think about it. I know that Mom is right and so is Veronica; it will change who I am and I'll never be back to who I was before, but it will make me happy.

After sending the letter, I go onto Google Search and type with my right hand cochlear implant information. An article pops up. Hearing... but not as you know it.

I don't know it, I think. Then I click the link to the website.

The website is written by a girl named Cathy. She had lost her hearing when she was a year and a half, and got a cochlear implant when she was 3 years old. She talks about how the cochlear implant works. She explains in writing how the background noise interferes with words of people she wants to hear or music.

"Imagine a lecture at school. I have so much trouble concentrating on what the administrator is saying that I can't take notes for myself... Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by the background noise and the effort it takes to concentrate through the synthetic sound that I turn off the sound of the cochlea with a device that is inserted into my ear that controls the sound, and relax with a few calm minutes of silence and use sign language instead."

I read about Cathy telling me about her life and the benefits and disadvantages of having a cochlear implant.

Mom tells me one day that someone is coming over for dinner.

I ask who with my right hand.

Aedda, my friend from high school.

Okay... I sign back with my right hand.

She's deaf, and she's the one who inspired me to learn sign language.

My mind starts racing. I get to meet one of Mom's high school friends who's deaf! I'm so excited. I go upstairs and put on a green T-shirt and black pants. Then I wait by the door for Aedda to come.

Aedda comes through the door ten minutes later. She's Korean and she's wearing a pink shirt and blue jeans. Her hair is dark brown and shoulder length.

Hello, Chandani! she signs very quickly. It's so great to see you! It's been SO long! She and my mom hug. Then Aedda turns to me. Hi, you must be Maria! Nice to meet you! She holds out her hand and I shake it. You too, I sign awkwardly with my right hand.

Aedda, are you hungry? Dinner is in the kitchen, Mom says to her.

Sure, she says.

How old are you? Aedda signs to me.

Fourteen.

Fourteen was a good age. Are you in... eighth grade?

Seventh.

Cool. I liked seventh grade.

Yeah... it's pretty good. I have this really good friend, Tanisha, who can translate sign language, and her parents own horses and I ride there almost every day.

That's great! Have you ever been to a concert?

What?

A concert! Have you been to one?

No. I've never seen the need for deaf people to go to concerts before.

It's amazing! You can experience the music too! Feeling the vibrations and seeing the instruments and the lights, it's still great without being able to hear the music! I go with my friends all the time!

I've never thought about that. I've always taken it for granted, the fact that I can't hear and I can't experience music. The end. I realize that's not true.

Aedda tells me about her life as a doctor who works with deaf kids and adults, and her kids who are hearing and who speak sign language to communicate with their mother. I find it interesting to know about the life of a deaf adult, and I decide being deaf might not be such a big problem after all.