My Own Four Cents [2016]

Chapter 10: Storm

By the end of the school day, an impressive storm is brewing above the trees. I look out the window, thinking about Beau and Veronica, and Tanisha keeping secrets, and Dad losing his job. I watch rain pelt the window and ferocious wind blowing branches off of pine trees and bending trees to the point of breaking. The storm sort of reflects my emotions-- sunlight just barely shining through the clouds resembling the small speck of happiness I feel because I have a family and Veronica is alive, and the fact that I got my family a hundred dollars for returning Beau. The wind is the everlasting anger and stupidity I felt when my parents died, like a stamp of hatred on my heart. And the trees are under the same pressure as I am, the pressure of being in a poor family and being desperate for money, not to mention the worries I have for Veronica. I still feel protective toward her even though she is seventeen and she's proven herself by surviving for six years without a consistent home. All my emotions feel like a storm, but I feel one spark of hope. I know that every storm has an end and is always followed by a blue sky and a rainbow.

During music class I sit in the back of the music room as always, because music has no use in my life. For forty-five minutes I sit in the back of the room drawing with colored pencils. Sandy sits near me, not signing anything to me. I draw colorful swirls on the paper. They are colors that I feel. Blue for sadness that I feel for Veronica and my parents, and red for anger, the heart stamp. Green for the envy I feel for Tanisha for having a family that isn't desperate for money and has enough money for horses and a cell phone. And being able to hear. Yellow for the happiness I feel because I got out of the orphanage and I have a family and Veronica is alive. The green and blue are the biggest and the yellow is the smallest.

Tanisha and Sandy go to the bathroom at the same time during social studies. Tanisha stomps back into the room a few minutes later, her face red. She signs to me, Sandy is mean. I let out a little groan. She tells me about it later on the bus, how Sandy teased her about being a "newbie" and how she didn't know why Tanisha would want to be friends with a "girl like me". Tanisha is boiling mad, but she is happier when I suggest going on a horseback ride.

Great idea! I hope they don't mind the storm.

Let's do our homework first.

We have... a social studies worksheet and a math assignment. Those are due tomorrow.

We get off the bus together. We do our homework and then go out to the paddock. The rain has stopped, but the wind is still going strong. It is actually almost dark. The horses are stamping their feet nervously. I undo the latch of the paddock door and run in, eager to start.

My mom thinks you're ready to canter, Tanisha says to me as I mount Liberty.

I am so excited, I actually scream with delight.

Tanisha is teaching me today, because she knows how to canter and her mom is busy. She stays on the ground and directs me around the pasture for a while. Then she tells me how to get Liberty to canter and why it helps him. (She can't help adding supplement like that.)

When you lean forward it tells them to go faster. Then you move the leg closest to the wall of the paddock backwards and you squeeze with your heels. When you squeeze with your inside leg that's forward, it tells his front inside leg to go forward first. That gets him on the right lead. Then hold onto his mane. And make sure to keep control. Hang on to the reins and don't let go.

I follow her directions as well as I can. When I squeeze Liberty's sides, his ears perk up and his gait changes, becoming a lot faster and smoother than his trot. I hold on to his mane and feel the wind in my hair as he canters around the paddock.I have the most wonderful feeling. It's as if nothing bad can happen to me.