My Own Four Cents [2016]

Chapter 18: The Decision

I come to school after a few days. It's Thursday when I come to school. Tanisha stays with me all the time and I use her phone to talk. We're learning about energy in science. We have just finished the light unit, and now we're starting an important unit... sound.

A boy named Brendan passes out these packets on sound. I pay close attention to every word. At last, after several pages of stuff about sound waves, I find a page about the parts of the human ear. There's the earlobe, the eardrum, the auricle, and the important part I've heard a lot about: the cochlea. I found out when I was young, really young, maybe six, that I was born without a cochlea, and that's why I'm deaf. I learn that the cochlea collects sound waves and sends them through the cochlear nerve which sends signals to the brain and makes you hear. (You realize I said "you" and not "me".) I also find out that it looks like a tiny hairy snail shell.

Tanisha goes on her phone after finishing reading the packet and her face lights up. She walks casually over to me and signs, Read this article. I read the title. Cochlear Implants. Cochlear implants are when someone doesn't have a cochlea and then they get surgery and get one put in so they can hear. I read on excitedly, knowing her idea. I look at her. She smiles.

Don't you see? This is something that can change your life!

I know that. I stare at her. I go to the iTalk app and turn the volume down. You want ME to get a cochlear implant? Speak.

It's your choice, obviously, but it will let you hear. Haven't you always wanted to do it?

I nod and shake my head at the same time. I'll think about it. Speak.

It's a tough decision, I know.

I think about the cochlear implant thingy for the rest of the day. We print the article after school and show it to my parents.

Mom takes one look at it and stares at me.

You want to get surgery and be able to hear?

I nod, then shake my head. I shrug one shoulder.

I don't like the idea of getting your skull drilled to put this cochlea thing in.

I type into Tanisha's phone. It's my choice. Speak.

Mom doesn't look happy. Okay, but think carefully. You will never go back to who you truly are, naturally.

I think about Mom's words for the rest of the day and as soon as I wake up. I type a letter to Veronica, print it and send it.

Dear Veronica,

Things have changed. I fell off the horse Liberty and broke my left wrist and now I can't write or sign. I typed this on the computer. My friend found this article in school about cochlear implants, which can make you able to hear. The reason I can't hear is I was born without a cochlea. Tanisha thinks I should take the implant and Mom- my mom, no offense- thinks I shouldn't. I have the hardest decision of my life in front of me. Do I stay who I am, or do I become who I have always wanted to be?

Love, Maria

I wait for a few days, hoping for a letter.

Tanisha asks me on Tuesday morning, Have you heard from Veronica?

I shake my head slowly, then the true meaning of her words hit me and I glare at her. Does she have to use that choice of words?

Tanisha realizes it as soon as she says it. Oh Maria, that's not what I meant. I don't mean "heard" from, just- well, has she written to you?

I shake my head again.