"speaking of the fuckimg devil"
"girl what the fuck happened now" Ayana groaned and i shook my head. "we got into a lil argument and i almost cried cus i was irritated and he decided to laugh in my face so i threw something at him and we started fist fighting" i explained quickly.
"so i should spin his block is what i'm hearing?"
"no Ayana" i chuckled a little. "i just don't even care nomore and he called me like ten times and texted me 23 times" i said and she laughed.
"go talk to that man" she laughed and i shook my head. "i don't really feel like it" i said and she rolled her eyes. "the only way the relationship will work is if y'all communicate" she said.
"how the fuck you know that if you a pimp"
"mind your business and go call him BYEEE" she hung up before i could say anything, I sighed and slouched into my bed.
I debated on wether i should call him or not and thought about what my best friend said so i called him and he answered on the first ring,
"hello? hi baby i'm so sorry for earlier i-i just- please don't break up with me" he rushed out as soon as i answered and i chuckled lightly.
"as mad as i am at you i'm not going nowhere"
He let out a sigh or relief and it was quiet for a moment til he spoke. "did you need anything baby?" he asked and i shook my head but remembered he could only see my forehead.
"nah i wanted to make sure we were good but what you doing?" i asked then sighed. "i'm at the studio can you pull up i made a song for you" he cheesed and i laughed lightly.
"uhm depends if my parents feel like taking me i'll go see" i said then got up with him still on the phone.
I walked to my parents room then knocked and opened the door. I sat on their bed in front of the tv and they looked up at me.
"yes Amariana" my mom said and i smiled. "you look comfy" i dragged out with a smile.
"i am" she said matter a factly.
"you know i love you right?" i asked and laid on my stomach swinging my feet and she rolled her eyes and groaned. "girl what the hell you want?"
"can you take me to the studio Jah made me a song and i wanna hear it" i said and she rolled her eyes again making me laugh. "girl come on" she said getting up and i squealed before getting up and running to my room.
I left my grey sweats on but put on a white crop top and a grey zip up jacket to match my sweats. "i'll see you in a lil" i said taking my braids from my wig out.
After that i put water in it and brushed it then left it curly and ran downstairs with everything i needed.
My mom got up and we walked to the car and drove to the studio then i told her i love her and texted jahseh to come get me.
After awhile he came out and my mom drove off.
"hi baby" he said pulling me into a hug, "hi my love" i gave him a lil peck on the lips then we walked in hand in hand.
We made it and i said hi to the people he was working with then he went behind the glass and started a song for me.
Once it started i fell in love.
i should have let you know
that you're my only one
i know you're feeling numb
ill fuck you til you cum
When the song ended i was honestly speechless. It gave me mixed emotions i felt like fucking to it but crying at the same time.
"i fucking love it definitely one of my favorites now" i said and he laughed. "thank you mama" he said. " i really appreciate you"
I ended up staying in the studio with him til he was done and he just now finished for the day. He said bye to all his homeboys and we got in the car.
He started diving and it was a comfortable silence for a while til he spoke.
"i'm sorry for earlier i really am i don't know what happened i just blacked out" he shook his head and i nodded.
"it's okay Jah i promise" i assured him and he nodded but seemed really anxious.
We were really close to the house and he kept tapping on the steering wheel. He was looking at the road but didn't seem focused at all like he zoned out.
We almost crashed.
"jahseh are you okay i can take over for you" i said and he shook his head and kept driving.
"the voices"
I looked at him weirdly hoping he was joking but he looked dead serious.
"Jahseh what" i chuckled nervously as he shook his head. "the voices th-they won't stop" he said and i just stared at him not knowing what to do.
He made it to his driveway and he parked his car but he looked stressed and i didn't want to leave him.
"the voices won't stop Mari" he said. "Jahseh what voices" i looked at him.
"they say i'm gonna die soon" he said and i sat up a little more. "Jahseh what the fuck" i said furrowing my eyebrows. "i'm gonna die"
"Jahseh you aren't gonna die baby" i said holding his hand but he snatched away. "imma go get Cleo okay?" i said and he shook his head rapidly.
"i don't wanna go alone"
"Jah baby listen... i don't know what's happening but please let me go get Cleo" I said trying to get out of his grip.
"save me"
....
Its now 5:00 in the morning
I ended up staying with Jahseh because he had a lil break down and it kept me up all night. I have never seen him act that way i was very concerned and he couldn't sleep all night so now i'm tired as fuck.
It took me a while but i got Jahseh to fall asleep and now he's holding onto me and his face is stuffed into my chest.
I looked up at the ceiling as i continued to play in his dreads.
I decided that now was my time to go to sleep so i did exactly that.
.....
🧍🏾♀️.
