Eli Borrelli

17: Communication...

"I ended up hitchhiking through Denmark up to Sweden. It was cold as fuck, especially, when I rode in the back of trucks or freight trains, but... No, actually there's no but. It was freezing and I almost lost a toe," I said slightly chuckling at the end, trying to lighten the mood even tho my journey was anything but light. I ended up with not only frostbite but around people, I really didn't like. Even tho some hobos were really nice, others were fucking disgusting. Lucky for me, I was pretty used to that shit by then.

My brothers were staring at me intensely, but I tried to ignore them and just get through my story. So, I took another deep breath and continued:

"I took a boat from Stockholm to Turku, where I jumped on a train to Helsinki. I stayed there for almost six months actually. My apartment was actually almost the size of my new closet," 

Once again, I had tried to joke but failed miserably. I guess my brothers didn't see the irony of the situation. They just stared at me in shock, trying to figure out what to say. I don't know what they were expecting, or what they had prepared for, but I guess it wasn't my insane run through northern Europe.

"How did you survive there? Where'd you get money from?" Matteo asked sounding seriously concerned. I hadn't heard that kind of emotion from him the entire time I had been there. Given, it hadn't been long, but he didn't seem like the type to show that much emotion.

"I did a lot of things," I shrugged, my walls slowly rising back up.

"I worked at construction sites a lot, a flower shop, as a delivery guy, I drove an uber, and... yeah. I did a lot of different things," I rambled trying to count through the unending list of jobs I had gathered over the years.

"At first, it was hard to find places that didn't ask for papers, but as I got my first job, it got easier. I mean, it wasn't nice. I didn't like it," I said slowly remembering everything that I had to do. The endless nights, and heavy lifting that I never got paid for.

"Having me as an employee was already illegal, which is why they could treat me like shit," I explained feeling a lot lighter. I guess it really did help to lay it all down, at least to straighten my own thoughts.

This time I wasn't forced to talk, and I had time to prepare for it. I had time to get one of Diego's famous pep talks before walking into the lion's den.

"So... you just lived on your own when you were fourteen?" Gabriele asked with a sorry look on his face.

Oh god, I hated that look. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Those were the best times of my life. I had a shitty life, but still.

"Yeah, and I was fine. I'm pretty good at surviving you know," I said with a cocky look plastered across my face.

"Why'd you leave?"

That was the question I would never be ready for and the second it came out of Alessandro's mouth, I started to internally panic. I didn't want to tell them about all that shit. I didn't want them to see me as this weak little kid. Why tho? Why didn't I want that? Aw shit, that was really not the time to try for a breakthrough.

I just shrugged, playing with my food. I knew I'd have to say something, but I wasn't ready to tell them everything just yet. Maybe one day I would, but not then. 

"I'm a non-binary lesbian, and my parents were hardcore religious nuts. Didn't really sit well together," I said trying to get the conversation to end as quickly as possible.

I guess my brothers got the memo and just nodded with some displeased looks. 

"I Uhm... I guess I could also tell you guys about Carlos," I said trying my best to keep myself composed.