Sailing With Destiny

Space

I shut my eyes and breathed in. "Mitchell."

Mitchell held my shoulders and stared intensely into my eyes. "I can't let you go with the way things are between us. Despite your cold shoulder, I was content with seeing you every day. Now that you're leaving... I'm scared of what might come of us."

I wanted to tell him that everything would be fine but I couldn't lie to him or myself. "We'll see each other soon."

"When? It's a matter of time before you ask for space and isolate me again," Mitchell pulled away. "I can't fucking take this anymore, Mila! I'm trying to be patient but it feels like I'm suffocating."

"I feel the same way," I said in a small voice. 

Mitchell cupped my cheeks and stared into my eyes desperately. "Then fix it, please," he whispered. "Only you have the power to do so."

I gulped. "It's not easy."

The small glee of hope that shone in his eyes, dimmed down. His shoulders sunk, he huffed and pulled away. "What can I do to make it right again? I'd fucking do anything at this point."

"Rewind time and undo what you did or erase my mind."

Mitchell scoffed and shook his head. "I didn't sleep with her. Can't you look at that bright side and forget everything like a bad dream."

"It's not about sleeping with her or even the kiss. Yeah, it makes my skin crawl knowing you kissed her despite everything but it kills me every time I think about the way you looked at her."

"I can't even remember that night," Mitchell softly said. "I couldn't even remember how I got back home."

"That doesn't change the fact that it happened."

Mitchell groaned in frustration. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it!"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed. "I can live with the memory of you and Olivia repeatedly going at it. I can bear bumping into your past... endeavors. I can tolerate women throwing themselves at you in front of me. Heck, I could possibly accept if you just kissed or even slept with Liza but that look..." I breathed in after my rant and shook my head. "That look is the very same as the night I begged you not to let her in. It takes me back to the broken-hearted girl who silently watched you attend to your Bethy's wounds and I –"

"Stop!" Mitchell cut me off. "I don't want to hear it."

"You can't hear it, right?" I stepped toward him. "I see it. It haunts me every time you're near me. The second you touch me, I see the way you looked at her, held her, kissed her..."

"I said stop!" Mitchell yelled. 

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "There is nothing more I want right now than for it to stop."

Mitchell shut his eyes for a moment and pursed his lips. He calmed himself and took my hand in his. "I wish I had an excusable reason for what happened but I don't. If I could, I'd take it all back but I can't. I know I fucked up and hurt you once again but it's done with, Mila. All I can do is try to be better and make it up to you." He paused and begged with his eyes. "But for that, I need you to give me a chance."

"I need time," I whispered. 

Mitchell tightened his hold on my hand and pulled me forward. "How much more? It's been two weeks already."

"I don't know," I mumbled. 

"What do you mean you don't know?" Mitchell raised his voice. 

"It means I don't know!" I used the same tone as he. "Some things don't heal overnight! If it could, I'd fix it in a heartbeat because this kills me too!"