City Lights of the Avenues (Avenue Series #1)

xxxiv

∞ xxxiv ∞

"Time of death, 3:21 AM."

I pursed my lips when I heard the cries of the family of the deceased patient. I bowed my head to show my sympathy for what happened before excusing myself. Even if I already reached my office. I ran my palm on my face.

It's been weeks, ganoon palagi ang tagpo. Because of that, I started questioning my capability as a Doctor, as a Surgeon. I deeply know that I'm not like this before, but why does this keeps going through?

Ever since I became a licensed Doctor, all my surgeries had been gone successful. Though, death should be expected as I am a Doctor, I can't still help but to blame myself. What's the use of being a Doctor if I cannot even save a life?

I was too preoccupied about the things I've encountered and heard. It's been weeks, and I never got out from the hospital. Ever since that lunch happened, I know I can't run anymore.

That conversation had got me. But then, as long as the question repeats itself from my mind like a broken tape, the more I started asking myself the same question she threw.

Why did I ran again?

I ruffled my hair in frustration. I can't even answer that damn question.

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at isinandal ang likod sa backrest ng swivel chair dahil nakaramdam na naman ako nang pananakit sa likod. It's not been so long since I had a massage, pero sumasakit na naman siya. Baka dahil sa patuloy kong pagtatrabaho, hindi na nagpapahinga.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko sa bulsa ng lab coat ko. Muntik ko nang pindutin ang Google nang maalalang hindi ko alam kung ano'ng ise-search ko. Why did I turned my phone on, anyways? Napahinga ako nang malalim bago nagpunta sa messages para mag-text kay Chaos.

Lavy:

Chaos, may dumiin ba sa mga magulang ko sa isang kaso?

Ipinikit ko na lang muna ang mga mata. Hindi ko alam kung gising pa ba si Chaos o hindi. Sa ganitong oras ay may binabasa pa siyang kaso minsan, kung hindi ay natutulog na. Napadilat ulit ako sa mata nang mag-vibrate ang phone ko.

Chaos:

Oo, Lavy. Bakit?

Kahit alam na ay tinanong ko pa rin kung ano'ng kaso 'yon na kinasasangkutan 'nung dalawa. Napahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa phone nang mabasa ang reply ng kaibigan.

Chaos:

Lavy, tungkol yon sa pagkamatay ng tatay ng ex mo...

Lavy:

Tell me, ginawa mo ba yung sinabi ko sayo noon?

Chaos:

Ah, tama nga ang hinala ko na yun ang ibig mong sabihin sa sinabi mo noon