Train Wreck

sixty-four

"LISS!!" A scream from the pool drew our attention right in time to watch Trisha while she served the plastic beach ball across the pool. We laughed as Taylor completely missed the toy and Remington attempted to save face with a heroic dive.

He failed miserably, belly-flopping in the waist-deep water while Daisy and Trish cracked up at their lack of athletic ability.

Benji plopped next to me, shaking his head before grabbing a handful of potato chips from the spread in between us.  He was sipping a grape Gatorade and memories of Greg flooded my mind at the purple drink.  

I smiled, nudging him with my elbow. "So, what's the next smoker project gonna be?"

His eyes lit up as he grabbed a slice of watermelon, taking a bite and then speaking with a full mouth. "Pork belly."

Leah let out a moan, "Oh my god, Ben... are you serious?" She turned to her husband as he joined us at the table. "You're gonna teach him how to make barbecue pork belly?"

Kenny's bright grin shone while he nodded. "He's ready. The marinade is basic but can be churched up with spices or vinegars so I have a feeling our boy Ben here will come up with his own style in time.  A Benji Barbecue Bonanza of sorts."

"You mean we could have the Battle of the Bellies?" I grinned, looking around the table at my friends and brother. "Once you teach Benji and he gets a good feel for his own recipe ya'll can do a Belly-off."

The group chuckled but I noticed the way Leah smirked at my teasing. "You and Daisy still have to have a bake-off, Lissy."

"Yes!! Maybe when the boys are gone we can do that!" Daisy's sweet voice piped up as she joined us, wrapping herself in a towel. "Ooohh... we could do Chopped but with dessert. Becca and Mom can give us a few ingredients then Trisha and Leah can be our sous chefs."

I grinned, looking around the table at smiling faces, and felt my heart lighten a bit.

Remington and I have our issues to sort through but with friends like these, I know we are on the right track.

Our brunch morning was going better than I had hoped. We briefly filled in our friends about the guy's road trip with Benji excitedly sharing how they would eat at his favorite places and how happy he was to get to see his friends while they were in town.

His joy made my heart lighter but Bec and Leah saw through the mask.  I confided my fears and they helped me work through the anxiety as friends always do.  It was a comfort to have such a close community that we could trust around us.  

I needed this more than I knew, especially now.

I've never been good at asking for help.  Growing up I had to, especially after our parents died, but then I became more self-sufficient than was necessary.  Benji and I were on our own far more often than was appropriate but we made it work.  I learned to find my own path, so dealing with abandonment and navigating these control issues will take some work but be helpful to all of us in the end.

The air turned cooler, causing Trisha and the guys to return to the table, while Doc also came back outside after dealing with an on-call work issue at the hospital. She slid her sunglasses down before sitting next to Daisy with a sigh. "I don't like being on call since it's so uncertain. I know it's needed and part of the job but I love the weekends when I can just .... Aaaahhhhh...." her body collapsed further into the Adirondack chair with a blissful sigh and I felt a pang of sympathy.

Doc works her ass off for her patients and the hospital along with being a single mom and caring deeply for her friends. She was a surrogate caretaker for us, even keeping me in check when I overdo things.