34 - without a pair (ii.)

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falling. it was frightening. the moment air rushes through your body, your hands reaching for nothing to save you from your death, you know that you will be leaving. worst case scenario is that you'd be leaving someone behind.

in far worse worst case scenarios, that person was all you had but you were also his all. he would be asleep; peaceful—recovering from the horrors that had been relentless since their love began. when he wakes up, what then?

she knows he was going to look for her. she won't be there, she was here, mid-air and falling with no means to run from the hardness of the unforgiving ground below.

the only thing she could wish for as she began to accept her doom is that he doesn't see her body. she wanted to be preserved in his head as someone who was alive; untainted by blood and injury he hated to see so much. not as what becomes of her after the impact.

I'll have to leave you again...Ran.

+++

"goodluck."

"be careful, Hikari."

"be cautious, but know we have your back."

"guys, don't be too doting all of a sudden," she nervously whispers, her voice ominous in the deserted building.

war had officially been promised, but it hasn't begun yet. Hikari had to go in ahead alone which wasn't so good at all. she was already feeling alone without a certain person to rely on, and here she was in a scary, abandoned building at the strike of noon. at least she's thankful it was daytime, but still.

it felt like there was always someone watching her back.

"no people yet?" Mikey asked through the device in her ear.

"no. they'd tell me when they'll make the move, I think we're safe."

"then why are you nervous?"

"because," she stressed, "I might drop this or something."

"don't drop it," he scolds.

"I'm not. I'm holding it with two hands. tightly. while shaking, god," she muttered on.

planning it all out was easy. executing her plans? not so. she even clearly recalls how Kakucho told her he was willing to do the job she was doing now for her safety—but no, she just had to say:

"I get where you're coming from, but practically speaking, if they see you—they'll release that Bonten's a cheat. if it's me, well, I'm on their side as far as they are concerned."

she really really really wishes she wasn't too practical in planning if her body wasn't so adept on calming the nerves. as Ran said she had brains, but certainly not experience.

after half an hour of tinkering in the building, following instructions through the mic, Hikari was finally able to leave. she looked back at it with gut-churning anxiety. little time was left before havoc would wreak inside it, and by sundown Bonten will have won. or not.

the not was terrifying.

if things went wrong, Ran was still unconscious. he'd be easy target if they all somehow died because of failure. and she had orchestrated the plan—

stop overthinking.

and it was funny because Hikari wasn't that much of an overthinker. she'd survived so long because she was decisive and she knew how to strengthen her mind if need be. but maybe this was the weight of carrying the life of not just herself. she can't help but overthink, because it's not just her.

she turned to walk away from the abandoned building. it was large enough to provide many hiding spots—that was a bonus, but at the same time there were so many floors that it won't be so easy to regroup when they're in a bind. the girl got swept up in rethinking and visualizing the fight later on, how every factor could aid their win or loss.

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