In My Head

Confidence ~ Megan

Steph totally underestimated Kaden's ability to play hard to get. I've never had to try so hard to hold a conversation before. Might as well be talking to myself, for all that I've accomplished. The stupid music definitely isn't helping either.

Steph stands up, and Logan follows her to the door. They must be going for some beer. Kaden watches Logan leave with a strange look on his face, like he wants to follow him.

"Want a beer?" I ask. Kaden raises his eyebrows and leans in close. "The keg is outside, do you want a drink?" I point at the door.

"Nah." He shakes his head.

Maybe he isn't a drinker. That would be awesome. "Not a drinker?" I ask.

"Huh?" He leans over to me again.

"Do you drink?"

He pulls back and shrugs. "I'm just not feeling it tonight." I guess he does drink. He rubs his forehead. Oh yeah, he had a headache on the way over. It probably didn't go away. I wouldn't want to drink with a headache either.

Through the glass door, I can see Steph practically hanging on Logan. She's overflowing with confidence. Logan looks like he's used to having a beer in his hand. Why does Steph somehow always find the bad boys? The last thing she needs is another bad influence. Wow, who am I, her mother? I roll my eyes.

I lean close and put my hand on Kaden's shoulder. "Wanna go outside?" I ask. He shrugs. I let go of his shoulder. "Get away from the music." He nods and stands up. Thank goodness. At least we'll be able to talk outside. I lead the way out and slide the door shut after us. "Let's go for a walk." I gesture to the beach.

Kaden shoves his hands into his pockets. He takes the stairs down to the sand. Before I can follow him, Steph comes over and catches my arm. "Don't be the rebound girl," she whispers in my ear. She gives me a knowing look and turns back to Logan.

Gosh, how could I be so stupid? Kaden obviously had a bad breakup. How did I not notice before?

Kaden turns back and looks up at me. I take the stairs down. He starts walking, and I follow next to him.

"I'm sorry you don't feel good," I say.

Kaden shrugs. "I'm used to it."

Used to it? Quick, change the subject! ". . . You've been to the ocean before, right?"

"Like, every summer." He almost smiles.

"Ever gone skinny dipping?" I raise my eyebrows and give him a mischievous grin.

He gapes at me.

"Yeah, me neither," I say. He laughs, just a little, but still a laugh. You know what? Who cares if I'm the rebound girl? There's always the chance it could turn into more than just a post-break-up fling. And if it doesn't, at least I won't wonder what could have been.

He stops walking and turns to stare at the ocean. Now that I know what to look for, I can see the look in his eyes. It's unmistakable. I've seen it enough to recognize it. When Mom told me about Dad and the divorce, she had the same look in her eye. Steph even gets the look sometimes, when she says it's time to move on to the next guy. I got bored, she'll say. But I can always tell whenever it's something else. Like maybe this time she got dumped.

I wouldn't be surprised if Kaden's thinking about her right now, whoever she is. Probably feeling guilty that he's trying to move on already. Does he need to talk about her, or does he need to be distracted?

"Whatcha thinking about?" I ask.

He looks over and searches my eyes. The redness on the right side of his face is hard to miss, even in the darkness. I stare back, and he loses his nerve. He stares out at the ocean, his hair dancing in the light breeze blowing out to sea.