Unrequited love

Thirty-One | Brylan

Touching my necklace as a reflex I dont say thank you. Not because i dont forgive him but I want him to go away. Looking at him makes me feel a little guilty if im being honest since he reminds me of Katie which reminds me that he's in my room. She hates when her friends use her to get to him and this feels exact l like that.

'Okay...can you go,' i dont look at him.

'No.' He refuses which startles me. Glancing up at him and he doesnt seem phased. 'I'm not going until I figure out why you've fucked with my head.'

'Im sorry?' I narrow my eyes.

'Brylan. I haven't been able to play basketball or sleep in weeks because you've been stuck in my head.' He gets angry at his own words. 'I seriously dont understand and I tried hating you but it doesnt work...I never feel like this and it's so confusing.'

'You can't sleep?' I try to figure out what's going on with him.

He has to be high right now. Compared to the other girls in his year level im nothing. They're all preppy with straight blonde hair and know what to say in every situation. I barely talk to anyone and cant be social for the death of me. The fact that he's saying I'm the one stuck in his head makes zero sense.

'If it's because of the necklace it's fine. It's not broken or anything.' I wave it off since he needs to leave my room. 'I don't understand why I'd distract you from sleeping.'

'Because every-time I think of you I get-,' he stops himself before groaning and running his hand through his hair, 'I get...more and more confused okay...'

'What are you talking abo-,' I try to ask for more context because he's just saying random shit at this point.

'I really fucking like you.' He looks at me with a confused look, 'I think?'

Um? What the fuck? I think all the girls in my grade would melt if Damon so much as smiled at them and now he's standing here and confessing to me? I cannot stretch how little he knows of me. I'm not as fun as the other girls he's probably met in his life. I'm walking baggage, my life if a mess and I've been through rough shit. If he knew me then he wouldn't want to be with me.

'Why?' I say my thoughts out loud. If im being honest it doesnt make sense to me at all.

Damon has more chemistry with Alex then me. They've spoken a lot more than we have and that says a lot. Where did these fake feelings come from.

'Damon I think you're confused,' I mumble since I'm not really taking anything he's saying seriously. 'Are you drunk? Oh my god. You're definitely drunk because there's no way.'

Reaching for his face I go to check if he's heating up but he moves away as if my hands are repellent.

'Because what?' He hesitantly allows me to touch him, pulling away when I don't find myself doing what I sought to do. I don't respond to him so he covers his face with his palm in frustration. 'I feel like...I'm doing this wrong. I've never done this and I really don't know how to explain to you how i feel. I should be describing all the stuff I like about you like they do in the movies or something but I can't. I really cannot verbalize how much I'm hurting.'

'Damon I think you might like the idea of me and not-,' I try to give him a more plausible reasoning to what he's 'feeling' but he turns it down.

'No I like you.' He responds adamantly, 'I know what it feels like to like the idea of someone...and this is definitely not it.'

Sighing I don't know really feel connected with this current situation. It feels so surreal and there is no way this is actually happening right now. I should wake up from this literal nightmare any second from now.