Half a F*ck

Chapter 1

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A/N - I hate having to do this, but since NovelHD has already started to pirate some of my books, here we go. These works are mine. My poor little brain came up with the plots and characters, and I'd really prefer you to not steal them. If you're reading this on a site that is NOT Wattpad then it is most certainly stolen.

Thanks!

Loiosh

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"Name?" the doctor in light blue scrubs asked me. He was freshly shaved and had a pair of wire rimmed glasses that I hoped would help him see perfectly during the procedure.

"Cole," I quickly answered.

"Last name?" he prompted while checking the clipboard in his hands. 

There was an attractive woman in purple scrubs standing behind him and to the right, grinning as though she'd seen this same conversation hundreds of times. She probably had; it was her job after all. I couldn't help but notice that she had a gorgeous tan that offset her hazel eyes, though most of us living in Miami had that same tan so that wasn't exactly a surprise. The whisps of some soft brown hair peeked out from under her surgical cap and made her look a lot livelier than the doctor. Did the different colored scrubs mean something? Or was it a personal preference? I had no idea.

"Butler. Cole Butler." I'd chosen the first surgical procedure time on the Monday after New Year's Eve, so I was hoping this would be a quick in and out and go home deal.

"And do you know why you're here Mr. Butler?"

What the fuck kind of question was that? I would hope you would know that! Are you double checking my internet order or something? "Yeah, I'm here for a vasectomy."

"Very good. And do you know what that surgery means?" His monotone voice was really getting to me now. I felt like I was in line at one of those car wash places, and they were making me order off the menu to see if I wanted the undercarriage wash. Well, I washed my own undercarriage, thank you very much, because I thought that would be the right thing to do before I showed it to a bunch of doctors.

"Yeah, it means I'll only be worth half a fuck now," I replied drily.

"Excuse me?" he lowered the clipboard, his eyes wide. Holy shit, he was human! The nurse behind him had her hand over her mouth to cover her laugh, but her eyes were twinkling, so I guess the joke worked.

"Sorry. It means no more kids. I'll be shooting blanks," I corrected myself.

"All right. Much better." He made another check on the clipboard. "Hayden, be a dear and take Mr. Butler to OR 3 and prep him."

"Of course, Dr. Lane," the nurse in purple replied, and then moved behind me to push the rolling bed through the outpatient facility towards the far end of the hall. I assumed that was where the operating room was, but I really had no idea. Once we were out of earshot, she spoke up again "I hope you liked answering those questions. You have to answer that three times before the surgery, and that was just the first."

"Of course. Is that the standard procedure around here?" I wondered.

"Yep. Everyone has to make sure there are no lawsuits for performing the wrong operation or something. Asking three questions about it seems to be the magic number for juries if there is a complaint."

"Awesome. What other morons need to ask me that?"

"Well, the anesthesiologist will ask next. And then yours truly will ask last," she said with a cocked eyebrow.