𝓝𝔂𝔁 - 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Overcoming deep fears and way more

I couldn't sleep that night.
I was fidgeting all the time, unable to find a comfortable sleeping position. Once I felt like burning, once I was terribly cold. I had a fight with the duvet for half the night. In the morning I was awakened by the rays of the sun shining through the half open window. I stood up reluctantly knowing it was going to be a challenging day. I stretched and the first thing I saw was a black owl that was intrusively staring at me. Did she stare at me like that all night? Whose is she ... Irritated, I knocked the owl off the window sill and closed the window. I went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. I haven't decided yet whether I will stay for lessons or not, it will depend on how the interview with Bellatrix goes. The only thing that comforted me was that I would not be alone there. I quickly put on a black shirt with a dark green tie, a black skirt, fishnet stockings, and wedge heels. I also did a bit more makeup than always.
In this way, I wanted to give myself some confidence, the lack of which I was not able to hide at the moment.
After a while, I heard a knock on the door, and before I could open it, Gaby stepped inside.
-How are you, ready?
I turned to face her.
-Wow, you look good, I can see that you are prepared for any eventuality of a conversation?
She laughed mockingly.
I lightly hit her on the arm to let me know that she was overwhelming and I'm not in the mood for jokes. We went down to breakfast together.
I didn't have an appetite, but I got some porridge and pumpkin juice. Gaby prodded me to bend over and secretly handed me a vial containing an unidentified potion. She told me in my ear it was a self-confidence potion. I wasn't convinced that it was a good idea, but she assured me that she had already used it many times and it was her family's recipe. She told me to pour 3 drops into a drink and drink it. Still a little hesitant, I drank the Pumpkin Eisker. I didn't taste anything else. At first I didn't feel anything change but after 5 minutes I felt a shiver go through me from head to toe. I felt a surge of energy and confidence. I straightened up and smiled at Gaby, gesturing to her that I was grateful. To test the effects, I looked at the teachers' table and found an eye contact, first with the principal and then with Mrs. Lestrange.
She looked at me and her eyes sparkled. She smirked and winked at me. She probably wanted to embarrass me, but to no avail. I smiled proudly and nodded my head. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed her expression change. I was proud of my action, I turned to Gaby and reached to get a high five from her.
The time for my appointment with the teacher was approaching. Gaby and I agreed that it was better to be early and wait than to be late. We left the table and walked around, telling funny stories to each other to loosen the atmosphere.
We were about 15 minutes earlier so we sat on the next bench, culturally waiting for the action to develop. We played rock paper scissors to occupy the mind. Soon after, I heard the clicking of heels at the far end of the hall. I sighed, Gaby patted my back to cheer me up and we stood up.
Bellatrix walked briskly to the door. At first she ignored us, but after a while she sharply turned towards me, indicating that I was to enter. I felt a lump growing in my throat. Gaby grabbed my hand and looked at me then at the teacher.
I cleared my throat and said.
- I would rather Gaby to keep me company.
Bellatrix was evidently dissatisfied with that statement.
- What are you a child Nyx? Are you scared to be alone with me or what? I promise I won't kill you or anything.
She chuckled trying to seem nice.
Gaby interupted and said that Dumbledor asked her to keep me company as she is my best friend.
That was the first time that she called me her best friend. My heart melted.
- Oh you two dont make scenes. We have to talk Nyx come in. Bellatrix walked right beside me separating Gaby from me but she slipped behind the teacher right before Ms. Lestrange closed the door.
Seeing that she is not one on one with me she huffed and rolled her eyes.
- Nyx are you sure you want your little friend to sit here and listen to all of what we are going to talk about?
I knew she was trying to manipulate me so I bravely said that we share everything and that I am comfortable knowing she is listening.
Bellatrix rolled her eyes again and
sat on her chair behind the desk, picked up a quill pen and started playing with it.
She looked like she zoomed out but then she took a sharp breath in and made an eye contact, at first with me then with Gaby. She let out a groan and said
- Maybe some tea ? For a good start?
Gaby nodded her head but I wasnt sure.
My friend poked me and whispered that it would be impolite to say no. So I also agreed.
Bellatrix happily clapped her hands and stood up to make some tea.
I turned to face Gaby and she showed me she kept her fingers crossed for me.
I winked at her. When Ms. Lestrange finished making tea for us she turned back to us grinning wildly. I couldn't notice it wasnt her usuall behavior.
She walked up at first to Gaby then to me, passing to us a black porcelain cups filled with herbal tea. We politely nodded our heads in thanks, surprised by the overly cultured behavior of the teacher.
We drank tea but I noticed that Bellatrix looked as if she was waiting for something. She stared at Gaby. After a while, Gaby started choking and coughing as if she had choked on a drink. I got up and patted her back but her condition worsened, she started choking even more and turned blue. I looked at the teacher, counting on help, but she pretended that she couldn't see, and with the eye of her eye I noticed her mean smile.
- Please help me, I am begging she is suffocating!
I screamed at the teacher.
She rolled her eyes huffed and took Gaby's hand and we walked her to the hospital room. The nurse took her, laid her down and gave her some medications. Then she felt asleep from tiredness. The teacher turned to me and agressively grabed my wrist and pulled me to her room. I tried to pull away, but the harder I tried, the tighter her hand tightened on my wrist. I hissed with pain but Bellatrix paid no attention to it, just laughed under her breath. She pushed me into her room, I fell to the floor and she quickly closed the door behind her, making sure no one saw us.
The floor in her room was black, hard and cold. I have bruised myself when I fell down for sure.
I looked up at her blankly. She was standing right above me, staring at me. -Who do you think you are !?
-Nyx mrs. Nyx Quentin.
I interupted.
-You little ... ugh! How dare you escape from school! I am your guardian teacher and my job is to protect you, and because of your shitty ideas, I have lost Dumbledore's trust!
How dare you use the potion for courage when you go to see me! A girl like you shouldn't lack courage, huh ?!
She grabbed my hair tightly and pulled me up so I was facing her.
- You've come from Durmstrang and you're so soft and you can't control your emotions! By using such an potion you cheat yourself, and what's worse, me!
I tried not to explode but I felt my anger grow inside me. I couldn't help it so I just let it flew.
I broke out of the grip sharply. I got up and approached the teacher so that we were separated by millimeters. She stared into my eyes, waiting for what I would do. I stood looking down at her, panting loudly, trying not to hit her.
- I'm sick of your games Lestrange! You don't know what I'm capable of. I promised my parents that I would not use force as a solution to problems.
I started tearing up fighting to controll myself.
-Oh, for the parents, that's so cute.
She grinned at me.
I couldn't contain my emotions anymore, I felt like I was burning from the inside.
I clenched my fists and was about to hit her, but I turned sharply and hit the wall, making a big hole in it ...
-Fuck ...
I whispered being extra surprised by my strength.
I turned to the teacher who stood in disbelief and stared at the hole in the wall. I started shaking with nerves, I didn't know what had happened, I burst into tears and tried to run out of the room but the door was locked. The worst happened was that part of me that I always tried to hide. I don't even want to think what would happen if that punch went to Bellatrix's face. Of course I hated her, but I'm not a monster. Besides, I have to admit that I still feel attraction towards her after all.
At that moment, I stopped being afraid of the teacher but started to be afraid of myself. This terrible feeling overwhelmed me until I sank to the cold floor. Miss Lestrange came up to me. I was sure she was going to hit me or something, but no ... She ... hugged me. I was very surprised by this, I felt her black curls hugging my face, with each breath I felt her scent more and more and the warm breath on the back of my neck. I didn't know how to react so I tried to pull away but she pulled me even closer and started playing with my hair. She grabbed my face and looked straight into my eyes.
- You are not weak. I migh have been wrong.
Then she backed away from me and sat on her huge black bed patting on it to show me to sit here.
I stood up cautiously and sat down on the edge of the bed anxiously.
- Sweety, you must finally learn the consequences of using potions. Suppressing one emotion increases the effect of the other. I thought you learned a lot from the last mistake, but no ... Let's leave it behind.
The teacher smiled and slowly ran her hand over my thigh. I held out the air. -Don't you think these fishnets are not suitable for school? All the more, this skirt is much too short. You don't want me to make you stand up and lean forward, do you?
Terrified, I shook my head.
- Well... What a pity.
She laughed mockingly.
I had to change the subject I hate being nervous and I knew she could sense it.
- You poisoned Gaby...
I said with a shaky voice.
- Why would you do that?! She is my best friend...
Lestrange rolled her eyes.
- Look at me Nyx. Gaby is not someone for you.
- How would you know?! Because she is a Gryffindor?!
I said irritated.
-No. I knew her family well. She will leave you when she finds some boy. You shouldnt rely on her but I know you are not smart enough to see it now, you will though then you will remember my words.
- You know nothing but why poison her ?
Bellatrix giggled.
- She looked funny, didnt she ?
She started mocking Gaby choking herself on a tea.
- That's not funny...
I exclaimed.
- You have no sense of humor Nyx. To answer your question. She was rude enough to interupt us. I won't let a teenage Gryffindor try to controll me!
She was so stubborn, she didnt want to leave so I had to make her leave.
Bellatrix yelled.
I didnt know what to say so I just stayed silent.
Bellatrix clearly saw me feeling uncomfortable and unsure so she asked me a question.
- How was your stay in the hut in the middle of the woods ?
I froze. How did she knew that I was there, even Dumbledor had no idea where I went.
- You make funny faces when put under stress you know ?
Teacher laughted
I just scrubched my brows.
- Nevermind it is cute. Will you answer me though ?
- Uhmm . Sorry but how do you ...know?
- It is simply my hut. I asked Gaby to escort you there and make sure you are safe. I paid her.
My jaw dropped. That couldn't be true. Gaby would never, I thought we were best friends ... It was all about the money? My thoughts going crazy.
I felt sadness filling me up.
- Oh sorry honey. I told you she isn't what you thought she is...
I nodded goodbye, stood up, and walked to the door. I turned to Lestrange asking her to open the door.
- Alright, go. Gaby won't be usefull for me anymore.
Wait! Last thing. Please eat up. You lost a lot of weight recently.
- I nodded and walked out quickly feeling me eyes fill with tears again.
The only question pounding in my mind was: WHO IS THE LIAR?!
Is Gaby really what Bellatrix is swearing she is...? I couldnt believe it. Would she be such a great actor just for money?
Or maybe it's Lestrange who is lying just because she wants to keep me on slytherin and not to become to soft or not to distract myself from studies ... Or could it be she is jealous that I have a friend?.... No that would be so dumb.
I thought...
My head swung,I tried to lean on the column to get my balance but I heard a short high pitched sound and I passed out hitting my head on the floor.
The next thing I remeber is waking up feeling all dizzy. A nurse was standing by me, anxiously on her face, she leaned over me to measure my temperature. 39.3 degrees Celsius Miss Quentin.
-What the hell is going on today, the second girl has had such an accident today.
I tried to get up, but the nurse told me to stay in bed. I sighed and before the nurse left I asked her who had found me. The answer seemed obvious, but it surprised me.
-Mrs. Lestrange found you. She told me you started to stagger and passed out. She reacted very quickly and she took you to me right away, you will have to thank her later.
I nodded my head forcing a smile on my face. I turned to my side and saw that the person laying next to me was Gaby. She was all blue and still breathing heavily.
I was so fiurious at her but wasnt sure if my anger was justified so I just stared at her for a while. She saw me and turned to face me.
- Nyx! OMG I dont know what happened that freaking teacher had to put something in my tea. That bitch!
- Dont call her a bitch Gabriell.
She frowned.
-Like, don't you really see what she did? I guess with you too . All in all you ended up lying next to me in the hospital wing.
When I get out of here, I go to take it to Dumbledore!
-I'm not here because of her, if you report on her, I will tell everybody that you are a werewolf.
At the same time I realized that there is a high probability that Bellatrix also added something to my tea, or that my body reacted differently. I got lost in it all.
Gaby snorted at me and told me she didn't recognize me, that she wanted to know what such a breakthrough happened in this talk.
- I dont recognize myself too! Okay?!
I broke down... I felt like loosing a friend, I didnt know what the truth is, that was frustrating.
Gaby felt like something was happening and noticed that I wasn't telling her something. After all, I will not ask her so clearly that even if it were so, she would not tell me. I said I was tired and decided to take a nap and so I did. I fell asleep quite quickly but I had intermittent sleep, I had some strange dreams all the time...
Why cant everything go back to normal, why cant I be normal?!