Amissis Imperium

Sine Mente

"Evan-!" I began to call out, him not releasing his hold on me as we quickly walked down the hallway. 

I looked around wildly, seeing where we were going. There was a slight second before I connected it with the map in my mind that I had memorized of the compound. My eyes widened, and I pulled away from him suddenly, digging my heels onto the ground.

His grip left my arm.

"Natalie," Evan spoke darkly, seeing that I was resisting against him. 

He stopped walking, turning around to glare over at me. It was intimidating, and I placed my hands up to my chest – hearing the rapidly beating heart against my chest.

I was unable to mask the terror that I was beginning to feel -- it was so overwhelming and hit me at full force that I was beginning to feel sick beyond my understanding-!

He was going to take me to torture.

He was going to torture me.

"E-Evan, please-!" I begged with him. 

My eyes were filled with the small amount of hope that I had left. He stared at me, his eyes never wavering from my own. My bottom lip began to quiver as I clenched my hands tightly together -- maybe if I try to plead my case then he would change his mind?

"I-I didn't..." I muttered, not having enough confidence to raise my voice any level higher than that.

I wanted to take a step away from the man that looked oddly composed after what I had just attempted to do to him – after I had attempted to shoot him dead.

"I didn't..." My gaze drifted to the ground in front of me restlessly.

I did -- I wished that I had been successful.

"You did," Evan spoke dryly, only echoing what my own mind was telling me. 

I heard his footsteps but didn't want to look up at him. I didn't know if it was because of the guilt that I felt about trying to kill him, or the remorse that I wasn't able to. 

His index finger and thumb landed on my chin before slowly bringing it up to look at him right in the eye.

I was a failure and now...

My heart weighted heavy in my chest -- it kept thundering loudly in my ears. I was unable to look away from him as my fear of the unknown slammed into me and full force. I didn't know what he was going to do to me -- I didn't know how bad it was going to be or if it would hurt as badly as I was imagining it in my mind. 

I wished I hadn't done it. 

I wished I had listened to him when he said to not ruin the evening that we were having. I knew that it was a risk -- going against Evan always accompanied a risk factor that I was so stupid enough to take every single time. 

Now...

Now I was going to pay the consequences.

"I won't allow you to get rid of me that easily, my little bird..." He lowly spoke down to me, as though I didn't know any better -- as though I was a child that would never comprehend a lesson, no matter how many times it was beaten into me.

I let him belittle me – I didn't know what he was going to do to me, and I hoped that with him talking down to me, it might lessen his anger towards me. It wasn't as though I had the will power to rebuke his words anyways.

I didn't have the will power and I didn't have the strength. 

The only thing that I did have was my unshakeable fear.