The Taunting (College Life #1)

Pain is something that turns us away from what's in front of us

"Fine."

"Classes?"

"Decent." She looks down at her hand in mine, how I tenderly dab the cotton ball on her knuckles. And how sometimes the pallet of my thumb rubs over it.

"Are you liking the dorm? Or even your roommate?"

She groans, "Andreas, what the fuck is this?" She points between the two of us.

"I just want to create conversation, that's all. Even through everything, I still care about you." She scoffs. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You say you care about me, you say that I'm so beautiful it hurts, you say all these things and yet you still hurt me. You're a fucking hypocrite, Andreas Chen." I can see her fighting her emotions. She's angry and sad and frustrated. Because through all of this, she still wants me.

She tries to hop down from the counter, but I clamp my hands over her thighs, keeping her there. I keep my hands at an appropriate length so as not to scare her.

"Elizabeth, you have to understand, it's not that I don't want to be with you- "

"Then what is it? Huh!" I hear her voice crack. "Why am I not good enough for you? Is it my body, am I not skinny enough or pretty enough! What is-"

I tap her thigh, telling her to cut the nonsense. How could she think these obscene things? "Elizabeth, what in the hell? You think that's the reason?" She shrugs her shoulders, like she ran out of ideas. This girl doesn't even know.

I sigh, "I'm scared." I lean my head against her chest, I can feel my hair grazing against it. She stills, not moving a muscle.

I loop an arm around her waist, pulling her close to me. I just want to feel her, I want to hear her heartbeat, even just for a second. And right now it's erratic. "God, E, I miss you so damn much," I kiss the top of her chest, and she sighs.

Her hand flows through my hair and she widens her legs to bring me in. We stay like that for a few seconds.

"Why can't you let it go?" She asked, breaking the silence around us.

"I don't know, my mind won't let me forget." I stroke a hand on her thigh, god I forgot how good and warm she feels.

"Will you ever forget?"

"Probably not." At that, she pushes me away. She knows if I don't forget, I'll never let go and be with her.

She knows me like the back of her hand.

I throw the cotton ball in the garbage next to us, wrapping her hand in white wrapping. Once I'm done, she tries to dash out the door, whispering a thank you, but I get close to the door and slam it.

"Let me out."

"No, we need to talk some more."

She looks into my eyes, they were red, and I think she may die, "You've said everything at Doug's match and right now, we're done."

She turns her head to the door, leaning against it. I press myself against her back, letting her feel my hard-on against her butt, she jerks, and gasps under her breath. I want her to know that she still has a hold over me.

"Did you get my gift?" My breath trickles down her neck and her back arches. I put a hand on her waist, wanting to feel her under my arms. It's been so long since we've been this close.

"Yes."

"Did you open it?"

"No."

My voice wavered, "And why not?"

She turns around to me, "Because a gift isn't going to fix everything, whatever it was it was not needed. I don't want anything from you."

I grip her waist, leaning my lips to her ear, she stiffens, "Yes, you do."

She crosses her arms, "Oh! What's that?"

"You want me to love you. To make passionate and disgusting love to you as you quake under me. You want me to kiss you every day like it's the last time I would see you again. You want me to kiss you on your thighs, your neck, breast, and between your legs." She gasped. "Most importantly, you want me to be all for you, to give myself all to you. I know that now, Elizabeth. I didn't before, but I talked to some people and they made me realize something. I-", The words got stuck in my throat, and damn do I feel like shit.

She grips my wrist, "You what?"

"I- I-," Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.

I see her eyes water, but she doesn't let them fall, not wanting me to see her be vulnerable. To show that I broke her, again.

"Fuck you, Andreas Chen!" I lean my hand off the door, letting her go.

Walking away from me

Running away from me

I confessed all that, poured my heart out to her, and told her everything she wanted from me, but the one thing I couldn't tell her is what she wanted.

For me to tell her that I love her.

I do, there's no doubt about it.

Saying the words, on the other hand, makes everything real.

So real.

I need to leave this party.

Walking to my car, I see Topolski leaning up against it. Next to him was Ollie, holding onto him for dear life.

"Don't tell me you bore her to death and she fainted."

"No, she just passed out against me and told me to find you, that you would know what to do."

I sigh.

"Put her in the backseat." I unlock the door; he easily picks her up and places her on the seats, not without moving a curl from her head. "Hey, you want a ride?"

"Please, I can't stay here much longer."

I chuckle, "Fine, get in."