Cream of Tartar

Chapter 8: Girl Talk

I gasp. Why was Tar asking me to apologize for something someone else did?

"Did you lose your memory when you hit your head against the concrete?" I inquire.

"Huh?" Tar responds, further supporting my amnesia theory.

"You said you're ready for your apology but you've got the wrong girl!"

"You have got to be the only thing in the universe that is slower than a very, very slow sloth!" he shouts.

"Hah, I would totally beat a sloth in a race." I boast, with a hand flourish to accompany.

Tar pulls at his hair and I notice some light grey strands falling out, "How did you graduate high school having zero understanding of metaphors? Or anything at all?"

"I didn't study metaphors at school but I did learn about metamorphosis if that's a similar thing?"

Tar looks up to the sky for a few minutes, maybe to pray or perhaps admire the cumulonimbus clouds. I join him in staring. Wow, it's a really nice day... I hope nothing ruins it.

"Let me spell it out for you, dipstick," he says through gritted teeth, "You are the girl who walked into my room, tried to steal my most prized possession - The Rainbow Fish, written and illustrated by Marcus Pfister and translated into English by J. Alison James - and refused to apologise for it on multiple occasions." By now, he looks just about ready to implode or explode - I'm still not confident I know the difference.

"But it was a library. You don't have a monopoly on those books."

With a roar, Tar drops to the floor, "That is my room."

I quickly put my hand over my mouth to cover my shock, "You-you sleep in the library? It must be so sad to be that poor."

Tar hits his hands against the concrete and screams "no". He's almost sobbing at this point and I almost feel sorry for him... except he is accusing me of a crime that I didn't commit.

I walk over and pat him on the head, the way one might pat a small dog, "It's okay, I won't judge you. Your secret is safe with me."

I turn around at several bypassers and say as I point down at Tar, "Hey, did you guys know that this guy is so broke that he sleeps in the library?"

He starts balling his eyes out so I lean down and give him a big hug. He does a half-hearted lunge at me but I dodge him and walk back to my dorm room to tell Sue about the crazy day that I've had.

I burst open the big sturdy wooden door to my dorm room. A strange man is leaning over Sue, his head uncomfortably close to hers as he laughs, mocking her. I immediately move to defend Sue against what is clearly a zombie. I sidestep away from the door and do a forward roll sideways like the spy that I know I am. I make it halfway across the room and pump my fist at my success.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" a deep voice roars.

"How dare you speak to me, demon!"

I'm about to swing my bag at his head before I notice that Sue is glaring at me again.

"You're interrupting Game Night." she snarls, "God, can you do anything right?"

That's exactly what my mom says. I shake my head sadly, I haven't done anything right since I was four months old.

"But the zombie..."

"Go away!"

"I was just trying to protect you..."

"Leave!"

"You can't kick me out. It's my room too!" I say as I stomp my feet in time to the ticking grandfather clock on the wall.

"Well Trent and I don't want you here and majority rules."

"Who is Trent?"

"The guy you tried to attack? Are you blind?"

"Why do people keep saying that? " I choke out a sob, "My vision is 20/20 unlike all of my future quiz scores in ItELWbUCSWMWBHNRtt2C1000, when my grades inevitably go down after I start dating the local Bad Boy"

"Now she's crying?" The guy I'm assuming is Trent scoffs.

"She is so pathetic, just like you at Monopoly," she says as she pokes her tongue out.

"Oh you think I'm pathetic, huh? You weren't saying that last night when we were f-"

I shove my fingers into my ears and say "la la la" as I roll back the way I came and exit the room, swinging the metal door shut behind me.

I flip open my touch screen phone and shoot Laim a quick text - even though I never asked for his number - asking if he wants to study ItELWbUCSWMWBHNRtt2C1000 in the library, before I call my mum. She answers on the 7th ring - her favorite number.

She answers, "Are you a contributing member of society yet?"

"Hi mom, I had the craziest day ever! Sue won't listen so I thought I'd just tell you."

"Hmm... sounds like a no. Don't call me again until you are." She hangs up abruptly.

"So today I went to the most popular coffee shop/Italian fusion restaurant on campus - Rattucino. I ordered the ravioli and it was to die for. Anyway, while I was there, me and my BFFL, Laim, were just hanging out when all of a sudden this guy that I see everywhere just lunged at me? It was so weird. Anyway, I'll call you when I get another life update. Talk later - bye."

I tap my phone to hang up the call but realize that it ended 5 minutes ago. Hmm, that's weird. Shrugging, I check my messages and to my delight, Laim has responded telling me that he'll come by my dorm in 5 minutes.