How everyone else lifts: (uses actual weights)
How Chip lifts: (picks up the nearest person)
Jawa: (being curled by Chip) This is the THIRTEENTH TIME—
Chip: Hey, Jawa? You know how you like spicy food?
Jawa: Yeah, why?
Chip: Well, spicy stuff is painful! Why do you like it?
Jawa: I mean, yeah, it burns, but that's why I like it! It adds energy to the dish!
Mike: So you're saying that people who like spicy food are masochists?
Chip: ...
Ben: ...
Jawa: ...
Chip: Oh...
Ben: ... my...
Jawa: ... gosh...
The boys: (pondering life)
Erica: (looking at camera) And I thought other girls were difficult to understand!
Alexander: Gentlemen, in my experience, it's impossible to understand women, and it isn't worth trying, save for perhaps the one you love most. Women understand other women, and they hate each other!
Ben, Chip, Jawa, Mike: *flashbacks to Erica, Zoe, Ashley, and Jessica catfights* Yeah, that sounds about right.
Erica: Did you know that, on average, women live longer than men?
Zoe: Huh, I wonder why...
[meanwhile with the boys...]
Mike: Okay, just keep that apple on your head, Jawa! Ben, teach me how to be a sniper! (loads .50-cal rifle)
Jawa: (mutters) Note to self: never play Mario Kart with Mike again...
Chip: (standing behind the firing line with a camera) Everyone got eyes and ears? If so, the cams are ready!
Rangemaster: *incoherent screeching*
Jawa: You can't just solve all your problems with suppressive fire!
Chip: (dual-wielding M249 SAWs) I can try!
Mike: (holds up wheel of cheese) I ordered a wheel of Swiss cheese! Not cheddar!
Chip: Swiss cheese has holes, right? Well... (holds up M249) I can fix that!
Ben and Jawa: Chip NO—
Chip: For my next trick, I'LL SAW THESE TRAITORS IN HALF! (holds up M249)
Everyone else: Chip WE NEED THEM ALIVE—
Joshua, Murray, Ashley, Warren: *confused screaming*
Jawa: A few well-placed shots is just as effective as a bunch of poorly-placed shots. The former is more efficient, using less rounds than the latter while possessing the same effectiveness. Thus, a few bursts is better than laying down continuous fire.
Chip: News flash: I don't care. (proceeds to destroy everything with an M134 minigun)
Everyone else at the practice range: ...
Jawa: BOI!
Chip: I got a hot date tonight!
Ben: I legitimately thought the day would never come.
YOU ARE READING
Mind the Gap: a Spy School Collection
RandomStuart Gibbs has created a universe in which he presents a hypothetical scenario in which the Central Intelligence Agency would be like if middle and high schoolers were involved as officers-in-training. However, in the process, he left many questio...
Incorrect Quotes II
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