"Sage, oh honey," Mom's tired voice greets me when I walk through the front door. My eyes fall behind her to the independent kitchen bar which thanks to her effortlessly turned into an actual liquor store. This place is exactly how I left it last night, the smell of booze lingers in the air between and I scratch my nose.
"Hi Mom," I greet hesitantly. This wasn't the plan when I walked in. My head still feels a bit fuzzy from the hangover but would be a lot worse if not for the pills Nick gave me.
"You slept out," she states like I already don't know that.
I take a deep breath, fighting an eyebrow before I look back at her. She's in her favorite gray pajamas and the red bonnet, a half liquor bottle in her right hand. There's a tired smile on her face.
Her smile falters though when she leans in to kiss my cheek and I step back, my eyes glaring at her with a look that can blow a hole through the wall.
"You've been drinking all night?"
Her face falls like that of a little girl being scolded, but I know better than to buy this bullshit. It's not new, she keeps doing this over and over and it's the drill. And as much as it is a burden to have to be the parent here, I have no choice.
"I'm sorry," she says, voice lowering.
I shake my head and nod. "Yeah, I've heard that one before." I start heading for the stairs to our two-bedroom apartment but stop and turn to race her. "Hey, can you do me a favor?"
"Anything for my baby girl."
I nod. "Can I have that bottle, please?"
Her eyebrows furrow, but she hands the bottle to me with a mumble under her breath.
"Thank you, now can you please take a shower, while I clean up and make us both some food?"
She only bobs her head but I notice how her eyes are constantly drawn to the bottle in my hand.
"Is it okay if you do that now?"
She swallows and looks at me then back at the bottle. "Of course." With that, she disappears from my view and I continue to my room.
I take off my shirt and sling it on the stand near the door before I open the window to let in the humid evening air. It feels cold against my bare skin but somehow I need it because just a few moments ago, I felt like I would suffocate.
Yes, that's what being around my mother does to me. Sometimes I'm so angry I can't stand her and sometimes I just go soft and force myself to believe that it's not her fault. The world is just a fucked up place and she would still end up like this even if Dad didn't leave us. She was always a ticking bomb, waiting for a perfect opportunity to burst and hurt everyone around her. Sadly no one stayed to get her through it and it all led to this. The alcoholism.
I linger around my tidy room for a while before finally settling on the bed with a laptop on my lap. It takes all the time in the while to let me log in I think some guys at school said something about updating the system or shit like that but I usually don't have time to worry about that.
I stare at the screen which has a mini me from like when I was five years old. On the other side kissing my cheek is a tall dark man with a broad smile who was my dad for a while before he disappeared.
Every day I tell myself that he is not a good person, that he left mom and I to rot and suffer all by ourselves but I can't get myself to truly erase him from my life. There is still that tiny, tiny part of me that yearns to find him and see him again. Hug him.
The moment I'm logged in, notifications from my email start coming in. I notice one from May:
[Hey, sorry I couldn't make it last Sunday. Listen I know things aren't okay for you right now but I need my pay from last month.]
"Fuck."
I might have underestimated how difficult things will get for me now. Rowan broke up with me, and that means she won't be there to help me in any way, and without her help, there is no way I'm going to survive this. I feel pathetic for depending on someone this much but it's all true. I will end up even more poor and won't even be able to afford this basic low-class apartment.
A dull pain throbs at the back of my head, reminding me not to stress so much but I can't help myself.
How do I fix this?
Ignoring my need to rest, I start cleaning the house, making sure to put all the liquor bottles in the trash bin and out of sight. I check the fridge for any food, I notice we need groceries, but I manage to make some bacon, eggs, and bread then set the table.
"This tastes so good. I didn't know you could cook," Mum compliments with a mouthful of eggs.
You wouldn't know. I want to say but I hold back, instead, I smile. For a change, she is in a fresh yellow sundress, hair perfectly pushed into a bun, and for once in a long time, I let myself see my mom in this woman.
"You look nice," I say, not hiding how imprest I am. I'd kill to see her like this every day, descent and almost sober.
After breakfast, I force myself to take a bath and sit back with my computer, clicking on the job ads and applying to each one I see.
I suck in a breath and stretch. I was too busy to think about Rowan until now. I peek at her phone number, then at my gray-painted nails now battling whether to press the green call button or not. Just then, a notification from Instagram dings.
*Rumors📢: On a shocking note, GardenSeal's High most perfect Lesby couple broke up last night at Isaiah's bash..😭😂 Moving on, Rowan was later spotted with none other than Brittney. Could this be it? If so, this might be Brit's chance to get with Rowan.
Comment your thoughts down below bitches!!
A gasp escapes my lips. The mere thought of Rowan happily hanging out with someone else just after our tragic breakup stings like a slap. How could she? How dare she?
I glance at the picture one more time, Brit's right hand is covering her mouth which was probably wide open from all the jokes Rowan was making to her. The other hand lay lazily on Rowan's shoulder but I'd be a fool to think that is not a flirty white hand right there.
I put my thumb and index finger back on my screen to zoom in but there's another ding and then more.
*Ned [Sage, are you alright?]
*Charlotte [What happened?]
*Kacy [Call me ASAP!]
*Miranda [Have you seen the post on the school page?]
*Faith [Please tell me they're just rumors!]
"What the hell!"
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Dear Sage ______
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A Sage Worth Chasing. GXG (EDITING!)
Teen FictionMeet Sage, a young woman whose life is rapidly spiraling out of control. Her mother is mentally ill, bills are piling up, and her best friend recently cut her off. As if that was not enough, she recently went through a bad breakup. Desperate to esca...
