Forever Hers | 18+

C h a p t e r 11

This knowledge changed everything, and while there was no doubt in my mind that my father was being played just as much as I was, there was also only one person who would've done something like that—who had something to gain from Heidi's death.

Even though I shouldn't be, I was sad about my mother nonetheless. Xavier knew this, and it was probably why he wasn't rushing me right now.

"And I'm sorry for shooting you, even if it was your dumbass that jumped in front of the bullet." He deadpans, side glancing at me as my eyes widen slightly at his words.

I want to tell him to fuck off and that it was his fault for aiming at my father in the first place, but instead, I do something completely unexpected—something I haven't done in too long.

I smiled, and that grin turned into a laugh that was part relief and part exhaustion. Xavier smirked and raised an eyebrow at my reaction, but after all the hell I've been through, I think I needed this kind of... well, whatever the hell this disaster was.

This temporary peace between us was just that, temporary, but it was something to be accepted for now.

Months ago I would've reveled at the idea of being back here—honestly, I would have cried and refused to ever let them go, but killing Andrew had killed me in ways I still can't describe. I held no regrets, but his death didn't take away my trauma. It didn't take away my pain.

I've been hurting for so long that I couldn't help but be changed in the process, something I know Alec, Caleb, and Xavier hadn't prepared themselves for in their plans to see me again.

"I'm sorry for wishing you dead right afterwards." I match his tone beat for beat with amusement, his only response being a slight curl of his lips.

It was then that I realized how much he had changed too.

Xavier always had a powerful sense of authority about him, something that had set my skin aflame from the very first moment I saw him at that wedding so long ago. But now... now he felt restrained.

For the first time today, I felt a crushing sense of awareness as I looked along the way he held himself, because it was restraint, I realized, that had changed him.

His forced title as Don had been every bit of a cage as he'd feared it would be, and even within the walls of the house he built for his family, he was trapped inside of it with no way out.

"That's quite alright, sweetheart." He smirked as he broke the silent tension between our stares, even if it felt a little forced in the end. "To be completely honest, I don't think I would blame or stop you if you tried."

Xavier broke his gaze from me at that, and I didn't speak anymore to it.

There was nothing I could say right now to fix any of this, nothing that would be real at least.

Taking another sip of my coffee, I didn't care at the possibility it could be drugged or some sort of gesture to try and woo me back here for good. As stupid as it was, I knew I was safe here... at least for now.

Too much has been left unaddressed between us for too long, but there were still things I needed to know that I couldn't leave waiting.

Was that why Xavier was here?

I simply could not tell anymore.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask softly, not sure if I was prepared for the answer, but parting my lips to speak anyways.

In this, I could not be a coward, no matter how much easier of a person that would be to crawl into.

"Always." Xavier says instantly, only wincing once it was too late to take it back. That one word felt like a shot to my heart, but all I did was shake it off as I turned to him, refusing to hold off on this any longer.