Nothing comes between us

17.

"Jade, is it the baby? Is he coming already? Do we have to go to the hospital?"

Perrie questioned frantically rushing toward her, trying to understand what the hell was happening, but jade shook her head as more tears fell on her cheeks and it resulted in her sobbing.

It wasn't physical pain, it wasn't the baby that was coming early; it was emotional pain, it was grief. And all Perrie could, and actually wanted to do, was sit next to her on the floor. Jade went on like that for a few minutes, sobbing on her best friend's shoulder while Perrie was gently stroking her hair.

Perrie didn't question it, she knew what was going on, what her friend was crying about. It was quite obvious, and she knew there wasn't much she and Leigh could do or say. They'd promised her that they would have always stayed by her side and that's what she was doing. Nothing more, nothing less; just being there, not pushing her to do anything she didn't feel ready to do.

Even when Jade stopped crying, Perrie didn't say a single word, she wanted to give her friend all the time she needed. Jade, on the other hand, didn't know how to rationalize and verbalize everything that she was feeling, all those different emotions. The grief of losing the love of her life, the joy of soon welcoming their baby, the dread of having to do it on her own, the knowledge that he would have never seen his son. For sure, she was doing much better than a couple of weeks before, but being there, in his closet, looking at all his things made her crumble. She was going on, she was doing what he had asked her, but god how difficult that was. So, exactly like her friend was doing, she didn't say a word, she just stayed with her head placed on Perrie's shoulder.

"Perrie are you fucking kidding me!", an enraged Leigh appeared, she was breathing out loudly, it looked as if she was trying catch her breath; it was clear she had rushed there. "Was it too difficult to call me or leave me a fucking message! I've been trying to call you for almost an hour.  I started thinking that she was in labor and that you were at the hospital!", Leigh exclaimed looking at Perrie sternly, but then sighed and her gaze soften up when she looked over Jade. She understood what was going on; she kneeled to look at her in the eyes, "Babe, we are here now. We aren't going anywhere", she said sitting next to her, so that jade was now in the middle.

Perrie kept stroking her hair, while the oldest bandmate dried some of Jade's tears with her thumbs. She shook her head and softly smiled, "This isn't definitely the last thing you have left from him Jade" Leigh said and Jade looked at her confused. Perrie smiled understanding, placing her hand over her friend bump, "I would say that he left you something pretty special. And this baby needs his mom to be strong and show the world the badass she is", she joked and Jade giggled for a while but then stopped.

"Girls, am I really doing this without him?" She asked, already knowing the answer, but still wishing that it was somehow all a bad dream. Her friends nodded sadly and Leigh proceeded to dry again other tears that had managed to fall.

Perrie looked at her seriously, "First of all you aren't going to do this on your own, we are all here for you and you know that, baba. Second, stop thinking about the if. What if you didn't slide in his dms? What if he didn't reply? What if you didn't decide to date and get married? Would you have been happier?" Perrie asked, trying to make her see everything from a different light and Jade shook her head. "Maybe your life would be easier, but it wouldn't definitely be this beautiful and you wouldn't have my nephew, who by the way needs a name" She said Joking and eliciting a fade smile from her friend.

Leigh kissed her on the top of her head, "Jade what happens when you hit a balloon with a nail?" the brunette looked at her confused, but then replied "It breaks, it explodes. Why?" Leigh nodded, "Exactly, and what happens when you push the ballon toward a bed of nails?"