AT YOUR SERVICE

17. Honesty

I go and get ready and throw on some sweats and crop sweatshirt before texting Jimin.

Me: Hey.

JM: Hi baby. I miss you. 😘😘😘

Me: Are you home?

JM: Yes.

Me: Your home or your shared home?

JM: Still at my apartment jagi.

Me: Ok. I'll be there soon.

JM: Ok baby, I'll be waiting. 😘

"Go ahead. I'll finish here and head home." Says JK when he sees me look up at him from my phone.

I go to him and kiss him on the cheek before I go.

"I'm sorry." I say. He shakes his head and gives me a smile.

"Don't be. Do what's best for you. I've already said my peace. Text me later, ok?" He kisses me on the lips. I nod at him and turn to walk away when he grabs me by the waist and spins me back towards him. "I don't know when I'll get a chance to do this again so I guess I'd better make it count." He says before he takes my lips in his once again. He kisses me so intensely that I'm out of breath as soon as it starts. He continues for a while, caressing my tongue with his, sucking and biting on my lips until the searing feeling on his lips is burned into my own when we part. "Just remember one thing while you're with him. I'm not afraid to love you. I'm not afraid of giving you everything you want. I'm more than willing, you don't even have to ask." He places one more kiss on my lips before he finally lets me go. I'm completely breathless and left panting when he finally lets go. I tell him goodbye and head towards the door and out to my car, feeling so bad and guilty for leaving him like this.

The whole drive to Jimin's all I think about are the things Kookie told me. If everything he said about him sleeping around are true, nothing I do or say is going to make him change that. He's going to try and say whatever to appease me and keep me happy...for now. But Kookie is more than willing to give me what I want. And I'd be a damn liar if I said I didn't have feelings for him too. On paper, Kookie is the better choice, the safe choice. But I can't just ignore these intense feelings for Jimin either. I'm so torn, I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just hear him out and see what he has to say. Only then will I know in my heart what is right for me.

I get to his apartment complex and hurry on upstairs. I'm anxious to get this started but the longer I put it off, the worse it'll be so I don't waste any time. I almost started to put the code to his door in but I think better of it. I ring the doorbell instead. About a minute later, he opens the door. His surprise turns into joy when he sees it's me and he pulls me into a hug and brings me inside before closing the door.

"I missed you. So much." Says Jimin. He pulls his face away from me a little to look at me and I try to return his smile but I'm having a hard time through all the anxiety and knots in my stomach. He gives me a peck on the lips and I pull away before it can turn into anything more. I did not come here for sex. I came here to talk and I was going to follow through on that.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I promise you, I didn't mean to hurt or upset you. I swear I didn't." He starts. He takes my hand and leads me to the living room and we sit on the couch next to each other but I put a little bit of distance between us. I know if he starts to touch me, I'll lose every bit of self control and I can't have my carnal desires taking over right now. Because no matter what happens, one thing I know for certain. I will always want him in that way.

"I know. I know. I freaked out and I ran away, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. It's just..."

"Just what, jagi? Talk to me, please."