what i'm here for

Chapter 31: burst your bubble

Meredith gulped as the elevator dinged to announce its arrival on the ground floor. The doors slid open and suddenly she was following Derek out of the car, and into the lobby. The lobby where his mother and two of his sisters sat waiting.

Derek suddenly paused in his forward motion and turned to face her, effectively blocking her view of the waiting room, and most importantly blocking anyone in the waiting room's view of her.

"Last chance," he told her, his head tilted just to the side in concern. "If you need more time, I don't mind." His smile was warm and understanding, though his eyes begged her to follow him. I love you and I'll give you as much time as you need, but it'll be fine now. Please give it a try.

She met his eyes and forced herself to shake her head. She could do this. He loved her and she loved him and that was enough. She could do this. She had made it through the year and still ranked first after her test. She could do this. "No, I'm fine to do this now, Derek."

He pursed his lips, his eyes narrowing as he assessed her. "You look scared," he whispered.

She smiled lightly. "That's because I am scared."

He smiled reassuringly and reached to squeeze her hand. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she breathed. Then she took a breath and nodded.

He understood and dropped her hand to turn around, and began leading her to the far corner of the chairs by the window.

Meredith immediately zeroed in on his mother, recognizing her from her familiar features. Derek had inherited a lot from her. Apparently so did at least one of her daughters. The younger woman seated next to her was almost a perfect match. Both had dark, wavy hair, blue eyes and smooth complexions. They even had identical facial structures. The only difference Meredith could see, and she was only guessing because they were sitting down, but it looked as if daughter was a little taller than mother. The other woman sitting kitty corner to them was also obviously a sister. She had the long, wavy hair, only this time in sandy brown instead of dark, almost black. Natalie. Meredith made a mental note. Derek had told her Natalie was the only sibling with different coloured hair. Something about a lot of adoption and milk man's baby jokes growing up. This must be her. That would make the other one Anna. Unless, of course, the sandy haired sister had died her hair. But then Derek had told her it was Natalie and Anna, and the only other explanation was they died their hair each other's natural color. And that was stupid.

Okay, so Natalie and Anna. And Carol. Or was it Mrs. Shepherd? Meredith didn't know, and it was too late to stop and ask Derek how she should address his mother. She was stupid. She should have thought about that sooner. Now it was too late and she would have to wing it. This was it.

It was Natalie whose eyes first picked them up as they rounded the last set of chairs in their approach. She smiled at Derek and then Meredith felt eyes on herself. She wrung her hands nervously, sure this was about to be a memory she would look back on in years and regret doing something stupid. She always did something stupid, or said something stupid, or failed to do or say the smart thing, which ended up making her look stupid.

Natalie opened her mouth, obviously announcing their approach to the other two, as suddenly Meredith had three sets of eyes on her. She tried to offer them a friendly smile, but ended up averting her eyes. This was it. She was spotted. There was no way out of it now. There was nowhere to run. She slowed just so and ended up trailing a step behind Derek, as if delaying the meeting as long as she could, even if only the amount of time it took to take one more step. It was one more step she needed.

He came to a stop in front of his family, who were quickly standing up. She stopped beside him, shifting her weight, unsure of what to do next. "H-hi," she offered quietly, nodding a greeting, swallowing hard as her throat went bone dry.