To Be Yours

Chapter 9

Mila was doing okay surprisingly. She was beginning to trust Buck, and while that was scary, it was also relieving.

She was surprised to be woken up by Buck himself a few days later. Normally, he lets her sleep as late as she wants.

"Mila," he cooed, his deep voice a soothing rumble. "Wake up, darlin'. I have a surprise for you."

She hummed, sitting up sleepily.

"What time is it?" she mumbled.

He gave a low chuckle, "Not too early, but I wanted to show you this before I had to take off. You can go back to bed after, it'll just take a second."

It took her a moment for her eyes to actually open and she blinked hazily, before stumbling up.

"Here," he said, pulling a hoodie over her head and taking her hand. He guided her down the stairs and to the front door. He easily lifted her into a pair of his spare boots, and then out into the yard.

"What am I doing out here?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

She was adorable.

Buck led her to the barn, and she was immediately awake at the sound she heard.

"Chicks!" she said excitedly, rushing over to the little pen thing. There had to be a dozen of them in there. "Oh my gosh, look how little they are!"

He eased down beside of her. "They have to stay in this brooder for the rest of the month under this lamp before they can be put out in the coop."

She felt a flood of emotion as she glanced at the handsome man in front of her. A tear fell onto her cheek. "I can't believe you would do this for me."

"I just want your dreams to come true," he whispered. "I want you to realize that everything you say, think and feel is valid and important to me."

He reached up, thumbing away a tear.

He sat with her as she picked up a chick, talking to it with a honey sweet voice. He couldn't believe how excited she was. It was so endearing.

"I don't really know how to raise them," she admitted.

"I use to have some as a kid," he said. "It's not too bad." He stood and stretched, Mila following his lead.

He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around him. He lightly placed his hands around her back, mindful of her ribs.

"You've been so kind to me, Buck. Thank you for letting me stay with you."

---

Buck and Mila were lounging on the couch after dinner that evening. He had brought down both of those manilla folders they had been given at the ceremony a week ago in hopes they could at least begin that conversation.

"I'm sure there are a few things you are missing from your home," he started, setting down his book and glancing at her. "I can go over one day, if you'd like."

"I don't want to go," she said quickly, tensing.

"I wouldn't want you to." She turned to him, their eyes meeting. She glanced away.

"There is a box of my mom's things in my closet I would like. She passed a few years ago."

"I can do that."

He continued to watch her, allowing her the chance to piece together her thoughts.

"What do you want from me?" she asked in a whisper, still not looking at him.

"I want you to trust me." His response was immediate and soft.

Finally, she turned to look at him again. He did his best to remain calm and reassuring.

"Have you seen your test results?" he asked curiously, knowing everyone was supposed to get a copy.

She shook her head no, "I wasn't allowed to."

He leaned forward to pick up her folder and he handed it to her.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but I think it would be good for you to understand how we match."

She hesitated, her finger tracing the edges.

"I didn't want to take the test," she admitted.

He was pleased she was opening up to him.

"I had worked so many hours, and all of my money went to Dave, my brother." Saying his name sent shivers down her spine, a painful wound just starting to heal. "But one of my teachers at training let me help her in her office and she paid me cash. I saved it, thinking it would be enough for me to get away."

She sniffed, trying to push back tears.

"He found it," he finished for her, feeling her heartbreak.

She wiped the water on her cheeks with her sleeve. "I'm not telling you because I don't want to be here, though. A week ago, I was here because I didn't have any other choice, but today I am here because you are one of the few people to ever be nice to me and you make me feel normal."

Buck was unable to resist pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her face laying in the crook of his neck.

"You're so strong, and I'm so proud of the way you pushed through everything you have ever faced. I'm honored that I get to know you." He felt her smile, and she turned, picking up her squished folder now crinkled.

She was still seated comfortably against his chest. She never imagined she'd ever be so comfortable with another person, but there was something about Buck.

She read through her results. Her lowest score was in trust, so it made sense to her why he was working on that first. She promised herself that she would make an effort, for him.

He handed her his folder and she put their two results side by side. It was really interesting how they compared, like how Buck being very protective was directly correlated to the fact that she needed constant reassurance and so on.

There were other things, too. She enjoyed a certain amount of pain, and that made her queasy. Did that mean she enjoyed what her Brother did to her? She was disgusting. She turned away, squeezing her eyes shut.

"That's different, Mila. You can't have any of this without trust and understanding," Buck soothed. "Take a deep breath. Do you remember how this was presented during the simulation?"

She did as she was told, remembering that horrid day. She ran through sequentially.

"Before that, I was being cared for," she mumbled. "I felt safe and comfortable, and continued to feel that way all the way through."

"Good. Do you see how that's different?"

She nodded.

"Yes," she answered.

He leaned down, his cheek nuzzling hers, and she relaxed as she continued to read.