19: You of all people.

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We're almost in the twenties????

Tubbo's  POV

[Y/N] didn't talk much for the rest of the bus ride home.

When I looked at him, he would smile glumly, then look away again with a tired face. Of course Mark and Tommy worried, but when asked, [Y/N] just said he was tired and wasn't sleeping much because of school stress. I was shaking, I was scared as to what [Y/N] was gonna tell me when we walked home. 'What if it's fine? What if im overreacting? What if it's not fine!? What if he's thinking of doing something to himself??' I thought.

When our bus came to a halt at our stop, as usual, we all went our seperate ways, and I was alone with [Y/N] again. I waited for a sentence, anything. But he didn't open his mouth once. I built up the courage, then spoke. "[Y/N] what's happening?" I asked. He looked to the floor, and pursed his lips. "I can't tell you now, I'll tell you when we get to my house..." He mumbled. 'I'm going inside [Y/N]'s house? For the first time?' I wondered.

When we'd reached his house, he motioned me to stop, and stay on the pavement. I was confused never the less, what was he stopping me from? He walked around the front, as if he was looking for something, or more, looking out for something. Then, he turned my way and ushered me towards him. I eagerly jogged towards him. He smiled at me, it was a kind and small smile. I couldn't help but smile back. We walked up to his door, as he rummaged through his pockets for something, then he pulled out a small key for the house.

"Sorry if its a bit messy..." he awkwardly chuckled. Then, he opened the door, to a dark house. It felt... empty. He walked in, and I did shortly afterwards, and as I did the sense of incense flooded my nose, it was almost unbearable to smell. "Dont mind this part, just, follow me upstairs..." He grabbed my hand, and led me upstairs. He'd led me to a door at the end of the hallway, and pulled out a key to unlock it. 'Why would he lock his own door?'  "This is my room, sorry if its a bit dirty..." he chortled quietly.

His room was so colourful and yet so dull. A variety of posters and photos scattered against the walls, the walls where almost filled with them. Nick-nacks on the desk and shelves, his curtains where closed slightly, with a small bit of light peaking through. "...wow..." I mumbled. I realised what i was here for, and straightened my posture.

"[Y/N], whats happening??" I worried. He took a seat on his black sheeted bed, and patted it, signalling me to sit down. I did so, and took a seat close to him. He squeezed his eyes, and sighed. "...listen Toby... I just-.... I haven't been happy lately..." He admitted, his eyes starting to water. I only stared at him with sadness. "I haven't been eating as much, I haven't been sleeping as much, i can't look in a mirror anymore..." he mumbled.

"And- yesterday I was staring at myself in the mirror... and- I broke... well- i in a sense broke... and I broke the mirror, with my fist..." he explained, pulling of the fingerless glove off his hand to reveal slightly bloody bandages around his hand. I couldn't breathe for a moment, i was so worried and taken aback. "The reason... i hurt my eye, w-was because-" he hesitated. "B-because-" tears dripped down his eye bags.

Before he would even say anything again, I enveloped him in a hug. He didn't need to say anything more, that wasn't his job. I squeezed him tight and felt my eyes water slightly. He sat there for awhile, and hugged me back, soflty sobbing in my shoulder. "You're okay... you're gonna be okay!- Its okay... I'm here.. I'm here..." i told him hugging him tightly. He continued to cry into my shoulder, i could feel my collar becoming damp. "I'm here... you're okay..." I comforted.

After whispering sweet nothings to him while he cried for awhile, his sob turned into a subtle wimper. We held eachother quietly for awhile, just enjoying both of our presences. He'd moved into a position where he was curled up in a ball in my lap. "Ohh my god... I don't know how you deal with me..." he mumbled. His face was puffy and red, his cheeks where wet with tears, and he had a slight runny nose. "You make it seem like you're a burden!" I chattered. "But i amm! I made you so worried when I was just being stupid.. ugh I probably look so gross right now..." he sniffled. "No you don't, you look positively handsome," I charmed, making him blush.

"Shushh," He flustered. "Neverr," I said, squeezing his cheeks and planting kisses on his face. "Stopp! Toby! S-stop!" He laughed embarrassingly. After awhile, I grabbed some tissues from the bathroom, and wiped his eyes, and handed him some to blow his nose. "Are you gonna be okay? I know it might not be easy, and you still might not have recovered from- them..- but are you gonna be okay?" I asked, holding his hand. "...I'll be okay Bee," He squeezed my hand.

"Sigh Please tell me when something like this happens okay? I can help you! And so can Ranboo and Tommy!" I explained. "Alright, I will," He agreed. We smiled at eachother, then glanced at eachothers lips. We leaned in, and then-

He stopped.

I saw intense fear fall into his face at the sound of the front door opening.

...cliffhanger👀

Also, just a genuine question, have my chapters been alright recently? Idk but it feels like to me that my chapters arent up to the regular standard as usual, i hope thats not the case :')

Plus, Thankyou for 4k readss:DDDDD Youre all so nice:))

Wow tubbathons still going- 5 fucking days💀💀💀

- Jacks

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