Hiraeth: Awakening

43

Archie and Oline left them alone to speak minutes ago, yet, Tobias has not spoken, nor has Lir. His mentor only leans against the wooden balcony's handrail, supported by thick square pillars that creak every odd minute, whenever the wind decides to lash out at their edges.

Initially, Lir had thought that if Tobias did not ask questions—and continue lacking the knowledge he sought—it would bring him peace of mind. But now that they face each other, in complete and utter silence, Lir realizes that this is much, much worse.

The young man clears his throat. For lack of a better thing to say, he mutters the words, "Tobias, listen. You weren't supposed to find out." If this makes his betrayal to his mentor any better—his mentor, who had willingly given up his daily rites to help him—Lir does not know. Though, judging by the expression that cracks across Tobias's features, it is now increasingly clear that this was not the right excuse to use; that is, if any were valid at all. He is aware, that sometimes nothing can explain certain acts. Lir fears this may very well be one of them.

He gulps. "I'm sorry. Tobias, I really—"

Tobias breaks out into a sob, then stares at him, wide-eyed with horror swimming in his evergreen gaze. "I'm the one who's sorry, Lir." His mentor takes a step forward. He throws his arm around Lir's shoulders. "Keeping this all to yourself... I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling. You didn't tell me because you were scared of my reaction, right? I'm sorry. I wish I could have done more to prove to you that you could have confided in me. Even with these matters. Even if I am included in your curse."

Lir's shoulder is wet with Tobias's tears. He tenses. He does not know how he should react to Tobias's pained declaration. He's never seen his mentor cry before. If anything, it feels like the man may eat his heart first.

"It's okay," his mentor whispers. "Our situation is complicated, but we'll work it out together, all right? You don't have to go through this alone. Please, Lir. I'm here for you. Rely on me."

Lir holds on to the fabric of Tobias' shirt that clings to his shoulders. He buries his face into the man's chest and mumbles, "I didn't want to worry you."

I didn't think you'd be so upset, these words, he leaves unsaid.

"I'm sorry," this time, it is his own voice that cracks.

"Guys, come on! I know I said you had to talk things out, but this is just miserable!" Archie waltzes out from the veranda's entrance with an exasperated sigh. "Especially you Tobias." He nods toward his protégé and gestures to them both. "You should be showing him how to stay brave, not bawling in his arms like a three-year-old who's lost his mother."

Tobias freezes. Lir feels him gulp against him, before he pulls away. His palms remain slotted atop Lir's shoulders though, as his head hangs low. The breeze that was once gentle soars into somewhat of a storm. It makes Tobias's hair to sway in a way that reminds Lir of the dark algae he first became acquainted with when he reached the ocean's depths.

But Archie grasps Tobias's bicep, and rips him away from Lir. "Now, then!" he exclaims. "Since my lovely student over here is incapable of speaking without getting snot all over the place, allow me to intervene!" Lir does not know why he sounds overjoyed. There is little fun in their situation. He stills wonders how they will both make it out alive, if either of them do. "You encountered Beck, I assume? Oline described them to me—at least, in the way that you described them to her."

Lir's pulse rises in his ears. He knows it is silly, yet he fears that if he acknowledges their presence, perhaps, the gift that was given to him will disappear. He is persuaded Beck did not want to share themselves with another soul, with how much trouble they went through to hide once Oline barged into the abandoned room.