𝓑𝓲𝓷𝓭 S. Aizawa

Chapter 120 | Interrogation

"I'm used to everything but relationships." He said.

"Sex, sex all the fucking time, right?" My teeth gritted. "But once that happens you find no more interest?"

I stand up, "Oh, no, Aizawa?" I wrung a hand out. "Starting an actual relationship?"

I turn around and start walking to the door. "What? Has the fucking earth gone off it's axis?"

"Wait, are you serious right now?" He shouts.

"Excuse me?" I turn around and point. "You're gonna fuck me and make claims then track back?"

I stomped back over to the bar that I wasn't too far away from.

"You only said that stuff to make me feel better right?" I could feel tears fighting me but I didn't let them win. "Promise me what I want then throw me away once you got what YOU want?"

He stared at the ground.

"Fuck you." I yelled. "Fuck you!"

"When I said I wasn't gentle, I meant personality wise too." He muttered.

"Oh, because you indirectly told me you were a dick that gives you an excuse?" I sputtered. "Aizawa, what the fuck?"

"You're going to act like you're the victim?" He lifted his head up.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me." I scoffed.

"I can't be forced into a relationship."

I cut him off, "So you fuck me instead?" I squeeze my eyes shut.

"I can't believe I honestly thought you were being real." I say. "None of it was real, was it?"

"S-" I cut him off again.

"It wasn't ever GOING to be real. You played me." I really thought I was about to start crying.

"I genuinely have fallen in love with you." He admitted. "That's real, I fucking swear."

"And you think that's enough when you only admit it because you want to fuck me?" My anger was terrible.

"No-" I cut him off yet again.

"That's not fucking fair."

"Let me speak." He sighs. "I fucked up, but you have to believe what I feel for you, even outside of fucking, is real."

"How the fuck am I suppose to believe that?" I seethe. "I have no reason to believe a fucking thing you say."

"You don't." He sighs. "But it's only a day after I faced what I really felt."

I stay silent.

"I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling or what I'm doing." He goes on. "I'm not a good person and I don't know if I ever will be."

"How long am I going to have to wait, while I feel like a piece of shit the whole time?" I ask, my hand on the counter.

"Longer than a day, fuck." He turns around again and puts his hands back on the counter edge.

"You've had all this time to figure out what you felt, figure out how you want to go about it." I slam my hand on the table. "You spent it torturing me!"

"How do you think I fucking feel knowing you have nothing together while you claimed you did?" I screamed. "While fucking me?"

"Can you stop reminding me that we fucked every second?" He says. "I get it, I don't need you reminding me every time I breathe, I don't think I could forget it either."

"Good, don't." I spat. "I want you to remember every single second of how you fucked me over OUR desk and made empty apologies."

He grimaced and spun around, slamming his hands on the table he shouted. "Alright, what the fuck do you want me to do?"

"Did you actually even mean those apologies last night?" I tucked my hands under my arms and hugged the cover to myself. "Or am I right, they were fucking empty?"

"Yes, of course I meant them." He said, trying to make eye contact without touching me. "It fucking eats at me that you ever felt that way, you think I wouldn't feel bad about that?"

"How am I suppose to fucking know?" I yell, tears extremely close. "You say you're the most terrible man on the planet then you claim you feel sorry?"

He sighed.

"What am I suppose to think?" I lower my voice. "It's empty everything with you, you're manipulative, you're so selfish and I can't believe I even had sex with you."

He whipped his head at me. "Tell me you don't mean that, fuck, don't say that." He pleaded. "I can repeat sorry so many times please just don't regret last night, because I don't."

Tears fell, and they weren't going to stop anytime soon.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm sorry." He repeated.

"What can I do?" He tried to grab for my arm but I dodged it. "What can I do to make you believe me?"

"Baby, plea-"

"Don't," I pointed, my eyes puffy and tears still falling. "fucking call me that."

"Please, I'm sorry, just tell me what I can do, anything." He pleaded with me and I almost fell for it.

"I can't do this right now, shit, I need some time." I squeeze myself. "That's what I need from you right now, time."

And for the first time in a while, I meet his eyes.