Sailing With Destiny

Liquid Courage

"I...I..." He trailed off and inhaled deeply. "I have no excuse, I'm sorry. If you want, I can call you later or in the morning when I'm in a better state."

"Although," he quickly added. "Whatever I say now will be the same when I'm sober."

I huffed and the pathetic girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend in me – craved to hear what he had to say so I budged. "I'm listening."

"I fucked up... again. I acted on impulse...again. I overreacted...again. But most importantly I hurt your feelings... again."

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious," I nonchalantly spoke. "Is there more to this or should I hang up now?"

"Don't be like that... please," his voice was so vulnerable that I almost pitied him. "Don't hate me."

I squared my shoulders and put on the big girl panties. "Mitchell, you walked out on me, you threw a fit for no apparent reason and used the trust card when I asked a question based on a shady as fuck message I saw on your phone."

"And mind you, when I saw the text, you were fast asleep. I maturely silenced your phone and allowed you to sleep instead of freaking out!" I ranted. "Do you know why I acted so coolly? Because I damn well trust you and told myself my Mitchell would never cheat on me."

"Yet you lost your shit just because I didn't tell you Leo lived in the same building as me." I paused and took in a much-needed breath. "I tried to tell you but I've heard your snoring more than your voice in the last month!"

There was a long pause from the other end. "I don't snore."

"Goodbye, Mitchell!" I frustratingly snapped and removed the phone off my ear, ready to cut the call but stopped when I heard Mitchell's panicked cries. 

"I'm not in the mood for childish gimmicks, either you talk seriously or we'll talk some other time."

"Wow, the tables have tur..." he trailed off and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry not just for now but for acting like a complete Bitchell once again."

"I can handle Bitchell but when you refuse to hear me out, let your temper get the better of you, and most of all when you leave things unresolved, that's when I feel helpless." I paused and kept my tone calm, "I sometimes can't recognize that person and I'm reminded of how cruel you can be when you're blinded by anger."

Mitchell sighed and remained silent for a long second. "Baby... I don't know what's a bigger enemy, my temper or jealousy."

"I don't ever intentionally give you anything to be jealous about. I admit I'm not perfect at this relationship thing but I'm trying my best."

"I know, I know," Mitchell sounded exasperated. "And you're doing great. I just thought distance would be easier between us because of how much I love you and how healthy our relationship is. But it seems the depth of our feelings is what makes this fucking distance even harder."

"It's nice to hear you call our relationship healthy," I mused. "Considering the last time..."

"It is healthy and you play a major role in that," Mitchell said with conviction. "You have no idea how much better you are at this than me, you're almost perfect."

"I'm far from that and flattery won't save you."

"I'm not trying to flatter you; I'm just saying the truth. I'm jealous, petty, and insecure. It isn't your fault because you give me no reason to be but when I realized that Limo fucking Leo is so close to you while I'm over two thousand miles away..." Mitchell trailed off and deeply sighed. "I was jealous and angry that it wasn't me. I want to be near you, I want to see you every day, I want to... I just want to be close to my Milo all the time."