Can be read as a stand-alone.
Jules never knew who she was. She never had time to figure out who she was. After an incident that happened her college year, she ran to the only person she could. There she could face more obstacles. Dealing with bein...
A/n Grab tissues for the next five or three chapters <3 Major Tw. ABUSE. I'll try to remember to put TW's but I be forgetting sorry! But yeah. Enjoy..... or Don't :)
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I'm at my breaking point. Being a mother, more specifically a single mother, is... hard. It has its pros and cons but today Valeria decided to do anything in her power to make sure I don't blink or sleep or get dressed. Everytime I put her down she starts wailing again. To a point where she literally clings to my shirt. I was thinking about not going to the game at all but I've shown up to almost all of Kayden's games and he claims I'm his goodluck charm.
I need some kind of assistance. Valeria won't sleep, she won't eat and she won't let me go. I mean just because you can't eat doesn't mean I can't. Okay maybe that's A bit selfish. But I haven't even had my coffee to deal with this. And she just cried even harder watching CareBares.
Damn maybe jovian was right.
I don't know what to do. Usually I don't but today I still don't. God this whole situation wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a fucking nieve fifth-teen year old. Then again if I wasn't so stupid I wouldn't have Valeria. Growing up I never wanted to be someone's mother. Shit I can't even take care of myself let alone a baby. I always knew I didn't have that mother instinct that most mothers know, like if their child is about to get run over by some shit.
The gist of it all is that, I know I'm not the best mother but I'm trying. This move had a bigger impact on me than I thought it would. But it didn't 'cure' me as I thought it did. If anything I'm more scared of myself and what I'm capable of. During a mental breakdown late at night I decided to pack up and leave.
I don't know if this will be a stable enough environment for Valeria. Maybe she should've stayed with Rachel. Rachel has everything I can't give Valeria. Hell, I don't even have a job yet. I'm surviving off the money I inherited from my parents' business. Which feels wrong.
After two hours Val was worn out from crying and settling down to sleep. I carefully laid her down on the bed surrounded by pillows so she doesn't fall off. I practically ran to my closet and picked out the outfit I bought the other day which is a white fitted long sleeve that's v cut and dark blue jeans. The only thing that really brings the outfit together is the black and green with white sneakers I bought. Originally it was just supposed to be me buying groceries then I saw cute baby shoes then I had to get us matching shoes. So that led to me buying a whole unnecessary outfit.
When I finished changing I packed the ultimate baby bag which consists of three bottles of diapers since Valeria has been going through them quickly today. I packed a teething toy and an extra onesie. I also threw in a couple bags of baby puffs.
"I guess we're ready"
♡︎
Surprisingly Valeria stayed asleep until we got into the stadium. Then she woke up and started acting like a babbling mess. I sat closer to the court where I would always try and score seats at. Music was playing as we waited for the game to start. I probably came a little too early.
