A Fever Dream

CHAPTER 30. If This Was a Fairytale

Last wishes, dark magic, and terrible deals; someone's high expectations, and failed compromises with your own morality - I've always suspected there were too many ways to bind a soul. But somehow, standing under the giant dome of a thousand-year-old chapel and shivering in a magnificent wedding gown, I couldn't shake off the feeling that marriage was the most hypocritical.

Wasn't it ironic, that the path which helped me escape my own world and marrying someone I thought I didn't love,  was leading me to the altar all along?

Trumpets of a violent storm played on the tall stained-glass windows. On this side, however, everything was calm and festive, and white. Fragrant white flowers littered marble floors and maiden gowns, their skirts floating around me in rivers. Cheering voices of the Neversnow citizens, and everyone who had traveled through Summer to witness the coronation day, managed to overpower the billowing of the wind and thunder, their voices sounding in unison, their hearts expressed in their words. "Long live the king. Long live the queen!"

I was surrounded by a crowd of people who wished me well, and followed my every move with their eyes full of admiration. But wrapped in the festive echo of violins, I couldn't help feeling like I was drowning. And no one could offer me a hand, because they didn't hear me asking for help... Because by some magic trick I wasn't able to utter a word.

"Why me? Why can't you marry someone - anyone else?" I was sitting on the sofa in his bedroom, as he was fixing his bow in the midst of briefing his soldiers on the procedure. I was waiting for his personal servant to come and help me get dressed. Apparently, leaving me to my own devices wasn't an option he could afford now that I've tricked him twice. "Why marry at all? Can't there be just a king?"

Alex gave me a sidelong glance as if I was a fool. "Because Summer wants to see the happy couple rule the kingdom. Because I don't want to look like a usurper, who got rid of his grandfather and brother to step on the throne."

I was taken aback by his sudden honesty. Perhaps, he knew I would not be able to use it against him, not in a long while.

Or maybe, just maybe, he wanted to utilize the fading moments of having a real confidante, the likes of which he would never find in a stranger, or any of his relatives, not even in his mother. The ear who bore witness to his teenage dreams.

Or maybe I was just naive and he didn't think any of those things.

"But how is that logical if I'll be only a queen for a short while?" Or less - I didn't say. I couldn't find the courage to talk about my own demise now that it was glaringly obvious.

"Who cares?" He shrugged. "The people would have already left for their little towns and villages. And I will make sure they don't gather to rebel anytime soon."

His voice sounded so cold and his answers were thought out. I frowned.

"But it doesn't answer the question of why it has to be me. You could take any girl. Announce to everyone she was your true love all along."

He gave me a little meaningless smile. "You sound exactly like my mother."

"Besides, it can't be anyone else." He turned to me and I noticed he never looked so pale. It made his red hair look too bright. "If only to spite Elliot one last time."

A strange feeling sneezed through my veins.

"How would that spite him? He hated me. He wouldn't mind something like this."

"Oh but he would." Alex smiled in return. "It's funny really, how he always tried to convince himself that he hated you. But you were the only one he managed to convince."